What Kind of Ceremony?

Most of the time you can say, “A wedding is a wedding.” Except when it’s not.  There are other types of ceremonies that may be had, which provide the level of commitment of a marriage, but without the legal blessing that a wedding receives.  For some, a commitment ceremony is the right choice.  For others, a hand-fasting provides what is needed.  So when is a wedding not a wedding?

To begin with, a wedding requires a license from the state in which it is performed.  It is a legal union in which the bride and groom (or brides and grooms) make a legal connection which is honored by the legal system, and in which partners are able to receive benefits from an employer, the state and insurance companies, for example.

There are situations when a marriage ceremony, as above, would limit the parties to a wedding, regarding those benefits, so the choice becomes one in which they wish to profess their love and commitment as a couple, but avoid the legal, and oftentimes, financial, limitations based on their marital status.  This couple would do well to have a commitment ceremony, which, generally, has language that the couple expresses their love, honor and union with each other, without being legally a married couple.  Informally, the couple may consider themselves married, but it is not a legal union.

The final option is a hand-fasting, which, according to some pagan faiths, is a commitment of a year and a day, with an option to make it a permanent relationship following that period.  There are several ceremonies that are used to seal this type of relationship, including a ribbon ceremony, in which the couple’s hands are bound together before being withdrawn, creating an in-dissolvable knot that they enjoy as a keepsake. Some individuals opt for Jumping the Broom, which involves placing a broom on the ground, and the couple, following their vows, jumps the broom, symbolizing their entrance into the portal of marriage.

From a legal standpoint, your officiant is required to avoid language including “husband and wife,” unless the ceremony includes a legal license.  So long as everyone is aware what the ceremony is all about, the better for all.