Time to Plan!

The wedding season of 2010 is coming quickly. For those of you planning nuptials for this season, now is the time to begin your plans. You may wish to have two or three choices of date in case there is a date conflict. Also, if you have a time selected, it will help your vendors schedule. Generally speaking, the sooner you begin to work on wedding, the more likely you will be able to have your date/time confirmed.

You will want to secure a venue, make arrangements with an officiant, and line up your other vendors--florist, musicians/DJ and photographer--as well as selecting and confirming friends and loved ones who will be in your ceremony. Then comes time to shop for invitations, gowns and tuxes, decorations, the cake and any other special flourishes such as a limousine or horse-drawn carriage.

Venue: You will want to choose a location that is convenient for you and your guests, including size and parking. It should be pleasing to you, aesthetically, within the limits of your budget. If it offers the services you need, including catering (or allows for outside catering), it is time to consult the proprietor about booking your date. If you will be decorating or having a rehearsal, be sure to schedule these at the time of booking. Consider also, if you will be having your ceremony and reception in the same place or whether you will need a reservation for each separately.

Officiant: When you have your venue(s) it is time to line up an officiant. In most churches where you are a member, the minister offers this service at no charge, however, an honorarium in line with the budget of your ceremony is always appreciated. If you are having a wedding at a public location, such as a park, at the beach, near a monument or in the back garden of your own or someone else's home, your church minister will probably bow out. This being the case, you may want to consult Craig's List, your local newspaper/buyer's guide, online sites such as WedPlan (www.wedplan.com) or even via online search to locate itinerant officiants who are ordained and are non-denominational. They will always respect the preferences of your Spiritual values. They generally have very reasonable rates, offer a wide variety of ceremony styles and options and are very flexible. They want to make sure your dreams for your day come true. Try to find a member of the American Association of Wedding Officiants or other such honorary society, as they are more experienced and acknowledged by their peers. If you settle for Uncle Bill who has bought an online ordination just for the purpose of performing your wedding and saving you money, you are doing yourself a disservice.

Florist: You will have to choose between fresh flowers and silk flowers. Each has a benefit, but generally speaking, silk flowers will be much less expensive, will keep forever, and can be arranged equally as beautifully as the real thing. Select a florist who understands what you want and is dedicated to providing you exactly that. Make sure the florist can deliver your flowers or is flexible with pickup times if you prefer to do this. If you prefer, you can also make your own silk arrangements. Don't rule out selecting flowers from major hobby stores, dollar stores, and chain stores that have large wedding sections. You will need wire snippers, floral tape, and hot glue to make these arrangements and may also wish to use wide ribbon to decorate them.

Musicians/DJ: You will need to choose between live musicians, a DJ, or music from the family stereo if you wish to have music at all. All of these choices are acceptable, according to your taste, location of the ceremony and your budget. Begin by thinking what song(s) are special to you. More often than not, couples are bypassing traditional music in favor of beloved popular songs that are especially meaningful to them. Once you know what music you want, it will be easier to decide who or how you want the music played. Realize, however, that if you are having your ceremony in a remote park by a river, that there isn't likely to be electricity, if you want to use a stereo. Musicians should be accomplished enough to play the songs that you select. A DJ should be willing to attend your rehearsal, the ceremony and your reception, if you choose this option.

Photographer: Your photographer will have many packages to fit any budget. Prepare a list of pictures that you want, separating the "must haves" from "would likes" so that you can more easily select a package that fits your budget. Ask the photographer what packages they offer, whether they will take pictures before, during and after the ceremony and during the reception. Ask to see samples of his/her work and get references if you can. If you need to watch your budget, perhaps a friend or relative is willing to take photos. You probably know someone who has an artistic inclination and would be more than happy to take your photos for the cost of film and development.

The Wedding Party: This may be the most difficult decision you have to make. Depending upon how many close friends and family you have, you will want to give as many of them as possible a role in creating your wedding. Perhaps a choice depends upon a close friend and sister who is pregnant. You love your sister, but it wouldn't do if she began delivery during the ceremony. So perhaps a better contribution would be to ask your sister to make the silk floral arrangements. You will also want to consider who can afford to buy the dresses and pay for the tuxes, as it is traditional for the attendants to pay for their clothing and accessories. The next question is how many attendants to have. Again, this is dependent on other factors--the location of your ceremony, (i.e. indoor or outdoor), the budget, and how many friends or loved ones you wish to honor by inviting them to participate. Usually, priorities are sisters/brothers of the bride and groom, the closest circle of friends, nieces and nephews or grandchildren to serve as ringbearer/flower girl and finally, children of friends. Also, the bride should be aware of whether she wishes to be "given away" and who will do this. While traditionally, it is generally the biological father who serves this function, modern weddings include mothers, older children, brothers and sisters, or an especially close friend. Some brides prefer to present themselves and this is perfectly all right, too.


Invitations: There are many graphics designers who have beautiful options for your invitations. You will want to make sure that all of your vendors, venues, family and friends are confirmed on board before going to select invitations and other paper products with your wedding date on them. That is because these items are costly and changing the date midstream is not possible. Once they're printed, they're printed. You will need to know: the date of your ceremony, the colors that you will have in your wedding, your flower choices, the theme of your wedding (check with your officiant if you are unsure) and your preference of the type of card. Again, if budgetary concerns are involved, these can be made on your home computer at a significant savings, but the type of card itself will have limitations. You will, however, be able to get most types of papers at office supply or art supply stores.

Gowns and Tuxedos: Five months before the ceremony, you will want to select your apparel. This allows plenty of time for fittings, refittings and alterations. By now, you will have selected the colors for your wedding. Now you will need to decide whether to limit formal wear to your wedding party, or to include your escort (the person giving away the bride), mothers, fathers, ushers, mistress and master of ceremonies or any other person you prefer. When you have all of them chosen, try to arrange a date when all of you can go to the bridal shop to select your formal wear. Consider the weather conditions expected for the time of year that you are having the ceremony, particularly if your ceremony will be out of doors. You will want something that won't be ruined if it is rained on or something that doesn't cause anyone to faint if it is horribly hot. Price may dictate what your choices are, and if need be, you can find nice alternatives at any department store. Many couples are having their attendants purchase dresses/suits that are a similar color, but different styles. Shop until you find exactly what you want at the right price according to your tastes.

The Cake: Four months before the ceremony is a busy time. Begin by selecting a baker for your cake. Your favorite bakery can provide a beautiful cake, however, there are many vendors out there who specialize specifically in wedding cakes and can provide a cake according the theme of your wedding decorations or your favorite activity or sport. You should be able to find these vendors on Craig's List, in the newspaper, the Yellow Pages, online or your local buyer's guide. You may also check with your caterer to see if he/she makes cakes or can recommend someone. The baker will be able to share options that are available and may have some special ideas that you hadn't thought of before. Let your imagination go wild! Again, price is a consideration, but don't assume that the corner bakery will have a better price than a private wedding cake baker.

Decorations: Four months ahead of the ceremony, you should begin shopping for decorations. If you are having a themed wedding, such as "Seaside" or "Cinderella" or "Roses" or "Harley-Davidson" it will make your choice of decorations much easier. These conjure up ideas very quickly. But if your ceremony is going to be more low key, you may need colored crepe paper, bells, tinsel, a lattice screen with flowers and a "Just Married" sign. Consider also, centerpieces for your tables, favors for your guests, table cloths and chair covers, (some venues already have these) and floral arrangements. You are limited only by your budget and how you would like your "grand ball" or "hoe down" to be. If you are having difficulty finding something you really would like to have, contact any of your vendors, including your officiant. They may be able to find it for you or suggest where you can get it.

Food: Two or three months before the ceremony, you will want to decide how you will feed your guests. Many brides prefer to save everyone the headache of preparing large amounts of food and opt for a caterer. Some venues provide food and will offer a variety of choices. They will have expert advisors on staff to assist with your choices. Beyond that, your personal tastes will dictate what you want to serve. When budget requires, friends and family are often perfectly happy to contribute food dishes for a grand feast. This is particularly nice for outdoor weddings. Don't think that you must take "pot luck" under these circumstances, as most family members will be happy to prepare whatever you would like to serve.

Transportation: If you wish to make a statement with your entrance, consider a special mode of transportation for your arrival, two to three months in advance. How you will arrive at the ceremony is often as important as your walk down the aisle. Many couples like a limousine or a horse-drawn carriage or a motorcycle entrance. Whatever you choose, make sure that you schedule it so that you are within a certain timeframe for arriving at your ceremony and if they will take you through town to celebrate afterward.

The Guest List: Begin preparing your guest list two months before the ceremony. You may have a guest list that needs to be trimmed to align with the capacity of your venue. Consider that often, guests opt to attend the reception, rather than the ceremony itself, so if you are have two venues, think in terms of where the reception will be as to how many guests you can invite. Beyond that, again it is a matter of budget. Try to do this step together with your fiance, so that no one is thoughtlessly left out. If there is someone who is a problem person, discuss whether this person should be invited at all. Talk to him/her beforehand and express your concerns. You want all of your guests to be comfortable and to have a good time.

Six weeks before the ceremony, you will want to send out your invitations. Including cards for your guests to RSVP, provide a date by which you wish to have them back. Check with your caterer to determine by what date she needs the total number of guests.

The Rehearsal is more and more a thing of the past. I suggest to my couples with large numbers of attendants or groups that include small children to have one, but for small groups it is rarely a necessity. Tradition does call for a rehearsal dinner, which is provided by the groom's family, and this can be as simple or complex as your tastes dictate. Often, decorating the venue follows the rehearsal. Have a crew of volunteers who know what you want assist with this process. Many hands make light work. Don't forget tape, scissors, hooks or any other items necessary for putting up your decor.

The Ceremony: The day of the ceremony should be totally devoted to preparation for the ceremony. If the bride and bridesmaids have hair appointments, be sure your hairdressers are reliable and your appointments early enough to allow for unforseen problems. That is, allow an extra hour or two. Many weddings are unnecessarily postponed because the hairdresser didn't finish the bride's hair soon enough.

Be sure to allocate who will pick up and pass out/apply the flowers. Have one person who will pick up and set up the cake (if the baker doesn't do this). Assign one person to get the marriage license to the officiant half an hour before the ceremony. Assign one person to help the bride dress, including having last minute safety-pins, deodorant, tissues, hairspray, feminine products, hand lotion, nail files and a calming voice. Assign one of the groomsmen to assist the groom with his appearance and have on hand the pins, deodorant, hair gel, tissues, etc. that he may need at the last minute also.

If you have opted not to have a rehearsal it is important that everyone in the bridal party--those who will be a part of the ceremony, be introduced to the officiant, so she can help by making sure everyone is ready and lined up when it is time to start. Personally, I like to coordinate between the ladies and the gentlemen, so that everything comes together smoothly. Once everyone is dressed, emotions are calmed and the lineup is made, the music begins, and the ceremony takes place in all its splendor. You have a prepared a feast for the senses!