Dream Wedding?

What does it mean to have a dream wedding?  Some children grow up with an image in their minds that is highly detailed and specific as far as what they believe their wedding should look like, how it will be performed, what is said, and perhaps most important, where it will be.  Do they always get what they want?  Hopefully they will, but there is always that smidgen of doubt that says that there are going to be barriers which keep them from having the perfect wedding.

Let’s think about this for a minute.  When you were a child, did you get everything that you ever wanted?  Probably not.  If you did, it will be a lot harder for you to accept that you won’t have everything your way as an adult.  But logically, it stands to reason that the world is not going to give you things exactly the way you saw them when you were little.  No diamond tiara, no tropical island paradise.

I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, but things just don’t look the same as we expected they would when we were young.  So there will have to be changes in the way you see your wedding.  You can still have special words spoken, you can still have lavish decorations, but if you wish to see through the eyes of a child, you are going to be a couple that is disgruntled and sad at the end of the day.  No one needs that kind of stress.

So look at things with your adult eyes and realize that you have a budget, large or small, but you can still have some amazing things.  Will it be a David Tutera production?  Probably not, but you can have silk flowers, crystals, the gown and tuxes, a special cake to top it all off and great music with which to dance the night away.

Marriage Counseling, Part 3

If a couple has not set up housekeeping prior to the wedding, the adjustment to each other’s routines and private quirks can be jarring.  Not only does it take time to adjust, but there are worries about finances and housekeeping, time to spend with each other, time to spend with family and friends, and all sorts of little things that need to be worked out so that each of you is satisfied and not imposed upon. 

Making sure that you have set aside a specific time allotment each day to talk over your day, including things that may be uncomfortable to talk about, will help ease the friction that comes in your shared lives.  It is important that you keep your feelings in check while discussing these problems, because for one to say they find a problem with a certain behaviour, takes a great deal of courage.  It is not intended to hurt you, rather it is intended to indicate that a certain behaviour is bothersome or hurtful.  Listen, explain if need be, and then accept that there may have to be some changes.  Putting in the effort to keep your home harmonious is one of the most important things you can do to keep your marriage happy.  The difference between a good marriage and a bad one is that the parties actually try.  They work at making things good between them.  If you do so, it will go a long way toward setting the pattern of a lifetime of love.