Options

When you are sitting down with your professionals, the thing you most want is to have a variety of options presented to you so that you can choose what represents your interests, beliefs, and sometimes, your fantasies.  While some professionals are very open to things you may want to try, others are somewhat rigid in their thinking, when it comes to possibilities, and will try to limit your options, rather than open them up.  If they can give a reasonable explanation as to why they don’t suggest something in which you’re interested, all well and good, but if it just seems they have a limited view of things and seem to be strong-arming you to do something which would make less work for themselves, then perhaps you do not have a good fit with this professional and it is time to find someone who is more open-minded.  The last thing you want when you are planning is to have someone tell you what you want or don’t want for your ceremony or reception.  Nor do you want someone to play off your fears about Murphy’s Law, which states that if anything possibly can go wrong, it will.

The bottom line is that you want all of the options presented to you, so that you can make an informed decision which speaks to your hearts as a couple.  If you find someone filling in the blanks for you, it’s time to look elsewhere.

What Are You Celebrating?

When a couple comes together for the purpose of marriage, there is always the question of how big a splash to make.  Some couples prefer something quiet, private, in which they can take care of the legal necessity of joining their lives, while others want to make as big a production with a great deal of fanfare to announce to the world that they are married, something that creates a beautiful memory of a day that seems more like a fantasy that reality.

As an officiant, it is my job to help you realize either one, whatever your hearts desire.  It is my job to find the right words, set the stage and express to your guests, however many you may have, that this day is special, that the two of you are now one voice, one heart, one life. 

Because everyone is different, your job is to let your officiant know what you envision as the perfect ceremony.  What rituals do you want as part of your ceremony?  Do you want special music, poetry, a tribute to someone special, memorials to those in the family who have passed, but are watching you from above? 

There are a lot of things that you can do to create a forum to have said what you want to do and say.  This ceremony will mark a transition from one stage of life to another, even if you, as a couple, have been together for years.  A wedding speaks volumes in that it can show your guests the story of your evolution from a single, solitary person, to a supportive, loving couple.  It can say what you feel, why you feel it, and why it is important and special to you, the couple.

Therefore, dream!  Envision what your perfect day is going to be.  If you are setting free balloons, or homing pigeons, or lighting a Unity Candle—whatever reflects your personal desires or style—make it your own and say what you will to celebrate who the two of you are as a couple and light the path ahead to where you want to go.

Release Rituals

One of the lovelier rituals performed at weddings are the release rituals, in which doves or balloons are released to represent the freedom of the love between a couple.  There is a new twist on these two exercises, as only the creative minds of the ingenious and culturally inspired can develop.  One ritual, borrowed from the Orient, is the release of floating lanterns, which are miniature hot air balloons with an incendiary device which lifts the lantern up into the sky.  The second is helium-filled, dove-shaped balloons which are biodegradable for the ecology-minded, yet allow for a lovely display similar to the live release of doves. 

Both of these releases create a dramatic and beautiful image that will stay with you and your guests for a long time.  The cost for either is nominal, but with the right narration, can be especially meaningful.  The lanterns are available in many different colors, including a package of several colors.  The dove-shaped balloons are white.  This link will connect you with a vendor who sells these items.

http://www.skylanterns.us

While these rituals are just beginning to become popular, they are not widely known and practiced.  Both are well-suited to outdoor weddings, and the lanterns are much more dramatic at night, when the lights shine as they rise.  If you wish to have a dramatic flair, I highly recommend these rituals.

Narrative for the release of the doves might be something as simple as, "to symbolize the freedom of the expression of Bride and Groom's love, they release these doves."  Of course, you can get as poetic as you wish, adding more to enhance the drama, but the imagery is of paramount significance.

Dream Wedding?

What does it mean to have a dream wedding?  Some children grow up with an image in their minds that is highly detailed and specific as far as what they believe their wedding should look like, how it will be performed, what is said, and perhaps most important, where it will be.  Do they always get what they want?  Hopefully they will, but there is always that smidgen of doubt that says that there are going to be barriers which keep them from having the perfect wedding.

Let’s think about this for a minute.  When you were a child, did you get everything that you ever wanted?  Probably not.  If you did, it will be a lot harder for you to accept that you won’t have everything your way as an adult.  But logically, it stands to reason that the world is not going to give you things exactly the way you saw them when you were little.  No diamond tiara, no tropical island paradise.

I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, but things just don’t look the same as we expected they would when we were young.  So there will have to be changes in the way you see your wedding.  You can still have special words spoken, you can still have lavish decorations, but if you wish to see through the eyes of a child, you are going to be a couple that is disgruntled and sad at the end of the day.  No one needs that kind of stress.

So look at things with your adult eyes and realize that you have a budget, large or small, but you can still have some amazing things.  Will it be a David Tutera production?  Probably not, but you can have silk flowers, crystals, the gown and tuxes, a special cake to top it all off and great music with which to dance the night away.

Have a No-Waste Wedding

When you think about the costs of the decorations for your wedding and reception, the price tag can skyrocket.  But there is also a cost of waste and an environmental impact from what you choose to use as your decor.  Unless you give all of the centerpieces and displays away to your guests, or resell them on eBay, for example, chances are you are going to be throwing most of the beautiful items away.  So take the time to consider what you can do to decorate with natural things that can be recycled or serve a secondary purpose over time.

One clever thing used for an outdoor wedding was the use of wildflowers in canning jars.  The jars were suspended from shepherd’s hooks along the path of the processional.  The flowers could equally have been silk flowers or wheat stalks, and the jars could have been any that can be picked up at thrift stores or flea markets, so long as they can make a set.  The displays were stunning and simple, and left little impact on the environment.  The canning jars might be filled with tomatoes or jelly in years to come.

Lovely table decorations can be made from varied sizes of goblets with colored gravel, water and a goldfish.  The fish can then be placed into an aquarium for a living memorial of the ceremony.  The goblets, once sterilized, can be used for years to come, and once again, the memories are lasting.

Considering your hobbies in creating decorations may allow another lasting use of materials.  If you sew, you may be able to use yard goods to create interesting displays.  You can use the fabric to make interesting quilts that commemorate your wedding and become family heirlooms.

There are so many ways to use materials that will become a part of your family heritage in the years to come.  Just think outside the box and put a little more of yourself into the mix.

Sprucing Up Your Outdoor Wedding

Everyone knows that having an outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden abundant with flowers provides a rich and lovely backdrop to a special and memorable ceremony.  But let’s say that you just want to have your ceremony in a public park where there is grass and trees and that’s about it.  You can’t get permission to attach anything that will leave a mark on the natural landscape, but there are a few things that you can do to make a pretty setting more you.

Suppose you are bringing in chairs for your guests.  Anything that can be attached to the chairs, including netting, flowers, ribbon, teddy bears, or other theme-related item is a go.  You can bring in an archway that can be covered in the same kind of decor. Let your imagination go wild.  If you really like teddy bears, for example, have one attached to the end seat of each row, alternating rows, if you wish to be a little budget-conscious.  You can put some large teddy bears with their own bouquets of your choice of flowers to the sides of the archway.

In addition, you can set up a table in the front from which to perform any of the rituals that you choose, including a Unity Sand ceremony, Love Knot ceremony, Wine and Bread ceremony, Bulb Planting ceremony, and so forth.  You can decorate the table with battery-powered lighted candles, pictures of relatives you wish to honor, and, of course, more flowers. 

In essence, you can decorate the outdoors in a similar way in which you decorate the indoors, so long as you have something on which to anchor your decorations.

Theme Weddings

I wrote a little about Theme Weddings last time, describing how to design invitations with a theme, and suggested, then, to use that as the template for your decorations for the ceremony and reception.  So let’s take a little time to think about how this can all work.

Many brides like to build their décor around the colors they have chosen for their ceremony:  the dresses and tuxedos, the pew decorations or an archway if the ceremony is out of doors.  Flowers, ribbon, candelabras, netting, miniature lights, etc., can be selected for display in harmonious hues to set the stage for a lovely, romantic setting.  But more often than not, nowadays, brides and grooms are wanting to display a theme that is relevant to their lives, something that speaks to who they are as a couple, something that played a role in their coming together to be a married couple.

Think for a moment what might be something that brought you together with your betrothed.  Was it a sport?  Did a certain flower or song play a special part and give your relationship meaning?  Do you share hobbies that are important to you?  Do you enjoy the adventure of riding motorcycles?  Is there a piece of literature you shared that brought you close?  Take the time to think about the mechanics of your relationship and what you share.  If this is difficult, consider what it is about your partner that has attracted you over time.  All physical things aside, chances are there are certain activities that bonded the two of you together.

So once you have identified what your joint interests are, or the things that make the two of you a couple, write down five or six picture images that will convey what it is that is special about the two of you.  This can be simplified by cutting pictures out of magazines or using images off the internet to get your started.  If you are having a secular ceremony and the two of you are Harley-Davidson riders, things like a leather jacket, a stuffed hog, the Harley-Davidson insignia, etc., are images that you will want to include.  If you are having a religious ceremony, you may want to include images of angels, rainbows, the Bible, and particularly, passages of scripture, along with floral arrangements and streamers.  If your theme is winter, regardless of whether your ceremony is religious or secular, you will want to have snowflakes of several varieties, sleds, snowmen, and may want to include songs like Winter Wonderland in your playlist.  Of course, these are just a very few of the ideas that you might want to use.

Once you have the imagery, you can apply these to your table centerpieces, your wedding cake, wall hangings, art displays, and the backdrop for your ceremony.  You may have to shop around for the right knick knacks, but keep in mind that stores like Michael’s specialize in “just right.”  There are stores that offer party items which can supply the more general items, as well.  Don’t be afraid to let your creativity soar.  Try putting a few different tables together and see which you like best.  You may want to try more than one theme before you decide on the final one.  When you have decided, let your Officiant know also, and you will probably get a ceremony written to reflect exactly what is special about the two of you.