Planning Time

Again, we come to that time of year when plans are made for weddings that will take place during the warmer months.  Of course, in warmer climates and large cities, these things go year around, but here in the cold of Michigan, plans are made during the winter for weddings that will make their splash during the summer months.

Now is the time to make appointments with vendors—the caterers, deejays, photographers, venues, and, of course, wedding officiants.  With the price of petrol soaring, it is wise to track down vendors who are local to the place you will be having your ceremony and reception, rather than paying for travel expenses.  If money is no object, and you have your heart set on a particular individual, of course this is not a concern.

The things you will need to nail down before you start setting up your professionals, is an exact date and time for your ceremony.  Even if you don’t have your venue yet, busy professionals need to know, for their own scheduling, the date and time.  It may be open to change, if you need to make adjustment for one vendor or another, but give a ballpark figure at least.  And if you do need to change the time, be certain to inform all of your vendors, as they are scheduling for other clients as well.

Some of the considerations you will need to take into account when you select a date and time is whether all the members of your wedding party are available.  You probably aren’t going to be able to please everyone, someone may have to take time off work, and if someone special is coming from a distance, making things as convenient for that person is a higher priority than someone who lives a block away. 

Once you’ve settled on a date and time, then you go forward and contact vendors and get everyone lined up.  Start with the venue, as their schedules tend to fill in the fastest.  Then get an officiant, a caterer, photographer, and if needed, get the assistance of a wedding planner.  If you are having a large and extravagant wedding, their expertise is most helpful.

Starting with a date and time that is cast in stone will help you organize your wedding much easier and take away headaches later on.

Marriage Counseling Part 2: Adventure

One thing couples seem to have difficulty with over time is keeping the excitement going in their marriage.  There are busy days in everyone’s life, with work, family obligations, household upkeep and the need for occasional time to oneself.  So when does that leave time to dedicate with each other? 

As you may have learned from various sources, it is not necessarily the amount of time of time you spend with each other, rather the quality of that time.  To make the most of your time, try doing things that you’ve never done before.  You don’t have to go bungee jumping every weekend, though you may want to try it once...or twice...but if you can think of new places to go, new things to see, even if you are just going to the State Park and walking through the trees, it will keep things alive and fresh in your marriage.

Some people like to surprise each other with a special meal, tiny treasures gifts on the bed pillow as a surprise, doing chores that are usually done by the spouse, and so on.  Random acts of kindness, though not so random when its your spouse, go a long way to raising satisfaction levels.  Little gifts don’t have to be expensive, but they should be meaningful.  Try to find something that reminds both of you of a special moment, your honeymoon, a beloved song, or something on that order.

Keep a photo album or slideshow of various places you have been, or special times that meant a lot to you.  Select a family tradition, such as buying a new dated ornament for the holiday tree each year.  Make other holidays special with heirloom recipes that can be handed down over the years.  All of these things draw you closer as a family and keep the excitement going in your marriage.

Use your imagination to see into your partner’s mind and think of something that would make him or her very happy.  Surprise each other often enough to make your marriage exciting, but not so often that it becomes expected, taken for granted, or tedious.  Think of the adventures you can create.

Preparing for the Unexpected

You’ve got all your ducks in a row.  The vendors are confirmed for your date, their bills are paid and your instructions to them are clear.  The venue has been decorated, the tuxes rented, gowns are pressed and every last detail has been arranged.  Still, there are some eventualities for which you cannot be prepared.  Last minute surprises can make or break the best-planned wedding.

How do you prepare for something you can’t predict?  What kind of indicators can give you a head’s up?

Consider Murphy’s Law, which states that if anything can possibly go wrong, it will.  What kinds of things can go wrong?  The flower girl steps on the train of the bridal gown and tears the dress.  Your maid of honor is a basket of nerves and gets so sick she can’t come.  The groomsmen are so hung-over from the bachelor party, they show up an hour late.  The florist delivers your order to the wrong venue.  The wedding cake slides off the cart en route and a new one has to be made.  The minister is tied up by a fender bender.  All of these are possibilities.

The best way to deal with any of these little crises is to roll with the punches.  Being delayed is the worst case scenario as the result of any of these situations.  While some fees may be tacked on to cover the late start, the ceremony can still go on.  And often, if the delay is beyond your control, late fees may be waived.

A torn dress can be tacked together with needle and thread.  Most venues have the changing room stocked with such supplies.  Sick maid of honor?  Chamomile or peppermint tea works wonders.  Hung-over groomsmen?  There is not much to be done after the fact, but a firm warning that such behaviour will result in the appearance of a bridezilla may be a sufficient deterrent.  Double-checking all deliveries so you confirm the address will hold faux pas on delivery at bay.  Last, accidents do happen, even to wedding officiants, but allowing plenty of travel time should avert distractions leading to a fender bender.

All in all, delays are uncomfortable, may be costly, and should be avoided whenever possible.  But they aren’t the end of the world, and the presentation of your ceremony can proceed in all its splendor in the long run.

Time: The Big Spoilsport

We’ve talked about many ways your vendors want to help you create a beautiful memory on your wedding day, but there is a little thing that can make the entire thing fall apart:  a late start.  You all know how important it is for your vendors to arrive and perform on time for you, but if the ceremony begins late, it can cause an avalanche of disasters.
 Suffice it to say that vendors operate like taxi drivers.  They always have another place to be and they allot a certain amount of time to any given affair, charging X-number of dollars for a specified amount of time.
 While it’s great that you would like all of your friends and relatives to witness your ceremony, it may not be practical to hold up the wedding if some happen to be late.  Your officiant may be flexible in waiting up to fifteen minutes for out-of-town loved ones to arrive if he or she doesn’t have another obligation following yours, but courtesy dictates that you ask, should the situation arise.
 You may have a little more leeway when it comes to your reception, as the caterer is less likely to be scheduled for another event, however, the servers are probably paid by the hour, so the boss will be watching the clock.
 Your entertainers are also likely booked only for your event, but they, too, will want to start and finish on time.  If your reception immediately follows your ceremony, a late start to the wedding can cause some discomfort for musicians, d.j.’s, even photographers.
 The second most likely cause of delay is the hairdresser.  Be sure that you add an extra hour or even two, in case some problem arises at the salon. 
 A case of nerves can also be cause for delay, but making sure all of the arrangements are confirmed may help alleviate worries.  A good officiant can help coordinate lining up and time management, as well as your master or mistress of ceremonies and your wedding planner.  Sometimes it just takes knowing that all of your vendors have arrived to reduce stress levels.
 In any case, starting your wedding on time keeps everyone happy and helps you avoid unexpected fees and hurt feelings.