What You Must Have in Your Ceremony

Your wedding ceremony is a presentation which contains all of the legal requirements that transform a couple of single individuals into a married couple.  The language therein is arranged with all of the necessary wording to accomplish that fact. When it comes down to it, there is little that must be said, and a lot that makes the money you spent on your ceremony worthwhile.  You will want your ceremony to reflect your feelings and express who you are as a couple. The ceremony script should express how you feel, but also, include nothing that you feel is irrelevant. It is important that you communicate this to your officiant.

What, then, is a required part of the ceremony, and what is for appearances?  Let’s run through the ceremony skeleton and see what we can find.

The first segment is the Prelude.  This is, generally, the music that is played while guests are being seated.  It is entirely optional and fairly difficult without a large sound system, if your ceremony is to be out or doors.

Next is the Processional.  This is also music, but it is played while the wedding party is approaching the area where they will stand for the rest of the ceremony, i.e. the front of the church, a stage, the water’s edge if near a lake, etc.  Even if you have no Prelude, a Processional is nice to have, but it, too, is not a required part of the ceremony.

The Convocation is the third part of the ceremony.  This is where the officiant or a designated individual introduces bride and groom, welcomes your guests and/or invites them to witness the union.  This is usually brief, often stated in traditional ceremonies as, “Dearly Beloved…etc.”  This too is optional.

The Invocation is next.  It may be a religious prayer or a secular wish of goodwill toward the bride and groom.  It is not legally required, but its presence may nicely set the tone for the rest of the ceremony.

Following the Invocation is the Dedication.  This is the part where the Officiant asks, “Who gives this woman to be married?” for example.  Again, this is completely optional, particularly if the bride has not chosen to be escorted up the aisle.

At this point comes what I think of as the entertainment portion of the ceremony.  It includes the Address, which involves a message that can include how the bride and groom have come together, what they think about each other, and advice that may seem appropriate.  This would be the section of the ceremony in which there might be passages of scripture, poems, literary readings and music. This part should be long enough to be interesting and entertaining, yet short enough so that your guests won’t fall asleep.  This, too, is optional.

Now we come to the required parts of the ceremony.  There is the Expression of Intent. This is merely a statement, such as, “Have you come here for the purpose of marriage?”  Both parties answer in unison, “We do,” or something similar.

If the couple wish to share personal messages with each other, this is a nice spot for them to do so.

Once that is done, the Officiant may say the Consecration.  Not required, it is a form of blessing. Some people like to say one of several Old Irish Blessings.

Next come the Vows.  While it may be as simple as, “Do you, (name), take (name), to be your wedded wife/husband” followed by, “I do,” they can also be poetic and lengthy.  These are required.

Following the Vows, some couples like to have more entertainment, such as music, another reading, or a Unity Ceremony, which can involve flowers, water, sand, candles, hand tying, or planting a flower bulb, a tree, or other symbolic ceremony.  All of this is optional, but ideally represents the couple’s feelings.

Next comes the Blessing of the Rings, which is also optional and can be either religious or secular, simple or poetic.  It precedes the Exchange of the Rings, in which the bride and groom place their rings on each other’s fingers. This can be done with or without vows, such as, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Immediately following is the Pronouncement of the couple as husband and wife.  This is required.

Some couples like to save the signing of the Marriage License for this part of the ceremony, but it can also be signed following the end. It should be noted that there must be two witnesses of legal age to sign the license. This is a legal requirement.

Most couples like to seal their vows with a kiss at this point.  After that, the Officiant may introduce the couple to their guests as Mr. and Mrs. (names) followed by the Benediction, which is another blessing.  All of these parts are optional as well.

The couple goes out of the church/etc. during the Recessional, often followed by a Receiving Line, in which the bridal party and relatives receive the well-wishes the guests.  Some will do this immediately after the wedding, while others like to save this for the reception/party afterward.

It is important for a couple to choose the parts of the ceremony which reflect their feelings and to advocate for themselves with the professionals who will make the ceremony special for their wedding day.  A good Officiant will guide you through the script and create a memorable ceremony that you can remember for the rest of your lives.

The Off Season

We are coming to the time of year when things begin to slow down with regard to our social lives and the busy season for venues is less hectic.  For the savvy shopper bride who is planning a wedding during this time of year, the likelihood is that venues and vendors are less heavily scheduled, but are also likely to charge a lower rate as they wish to fill in their calendars for the rest of the year.  Shopping around for the best deals is a wise choice if you are looking to save money.

Perhaps you have had a special place in mind for your wedding for a long time.  There is no reason you shouldn’t have it, so long as you are flexible with your date selection, and the autumn season is likely to be your best option.  Not only are you likely to get your location, but the venue may be able to allow you a little more freedom with decorations, rehearsals, and other things you may want.  The main thing is, if you want something, don’t be afraid to ask for it.  You are sure not to get what you want if you don’t ask, but if you do, venues and vendors are more likely to give it to you during their off season.

The only thing that you are less likely to get a break on during this time of year is your flowers, and that, of course, is because of the growing season, but this can offset by using silk flowers.  You can make the most beautiful arrangements yourself, often using flowers that you pick up at a dollar store.

You don’t have to be poor to make your dollars count.  Beauty doesn’t have to carry a large price tag.  You just have to have a vivid imagination and know what you want.  Wedding planners and some officiants can help you with these plans or tell you where you can get help.  Just ask.

2011 Season

Hello Brides and Grooms!

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! As you are preparing for your celebrations this year, you are probably aware that many of your vendors are having to charge higher prices due to gasoline hikes. This is regrettably one of the problems of having talented people who travel to your venue. It is not likely to get any better once the tourist season begins, as price will increase as more people travel. So hold your breaths, but be aware that everyone is doing the best they can to keep costs at a reasonable level.

The Off Season

This is considered the "off season" when it comes to weddings, and as an officiant, the "extra" time is useful for studying trends in wedding preferences, writing new vows and ceremonies, coming up with new and varied rituals with special, heartfelt meanings, and touching in with couples who really want to get a jump on their planning for next season. The pace is a little slower, yet, for those of us who are always looking into the future for what will be new and exciting, it is time to get out of the box and seriously think of something different.
Yes, it may be a means of putting us ahead of the next guy, to grab a greater portion of market share, but really, to me it means giving better service, being more efficient, offering more touching options and being able to provide nothing less than the best for my couples. It means making sure that my equipment is in top condition, including my car, so that I can be where I need to be when I need to be there. It means getting the PA to work without crackling. It means checking the wardrobe so that robes, suits and dresses are all dry-cleaned and repaired and the shoes shined. It means thinking ahead so that every contingency has been covered so the day of each wedding in the upcoming season, I am prepared, and prepared not only for what I have to do, but also prepared in case some other party to the wedding happens to drop the ball. So I restock my "gig back" with tissues, deodorant, bobby pins, hairspray, pins, needle and thread, lint roller, .....on it goes, because I'm not just there to do my part, I'm there to make sure that my couples have the most beautiful and perfect memory that is possible.

Autumn Weddings

When we think of garden weddings, whether they are, indeed, in the garden or by a lake, a river, or at a park, we often think of summer, when the sun is high in the blue sky. However, even here in Michigan, an autumn wedding, where a canopy of brightly-colored leaves provides a beautifully-enticing background for an outdoor wedding, you can have a lovely setting.

Perhaps you think it might be too cold, or it might rain, but that can be true even during the summer. As with any outdoor wedding, you may wish to plan for a backup location in case of inclement weather. Often, the location of your indoor reception has set aside the entire day for you anyway, so if you need to arrive early for the ceremony, no harm no foul. The important thing is to provide adequate notice to your officiant and vendors. Be sure to watch the weather report for a couple of days in advance and put them on "stand-by" to receive your directions at the last minute, in case of rain or a sudden drop in temperature. Remember to ask for cell phone numbers so they can be reached even if they are not home or in the office.

One of the benefits to an autumn wedding, aside from the beauty provided by the colorful leaves, is that you have less competition for vendor services. The peak season has passed and there are fewer weddings going on, so you will have a larger selection of vendors, and thus, will have access to a higher quality of service than if you had to take whoever was available, as is often the case in the summer. In addition, you may be able to get a discount for having your ceremony outside of the peak season. It never hurts to ask!