A lot of the scuttle-butt on the Professional circuit these days is about officiants who do not perform their work on a professional basis. This includes friends and relatives of the bride or groom who apply for an ordination simply for the purpose of performing this specific wedding, often as a measure for saving money, but occasionally for the purpose of being the individual who blesses the marriage. While either is acceptable in the eyes of the law, and reasonable for the couple, the finished product can sometimes be a disaster, leaving the bride and groom with memories that are below their expectations when it comes to how they see their wedding.
To see what you might be missing by having Uncle Joe perform your ceremony, consider what services you get with a professional officiant. First, the officiant meets with you, taking the time to get to know you. He or she might have a questionnaire for you to fill out, describing not only your preferences, but a little bit of the history of your relationship, so that your ceremony can be personalized to the two of you. He or she might interview you, to really get acquainted with you both. Then, if there are several basic ceremonies that the officiant uses, you can select a ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. In my estimation, this is one of the most important things in the preparation of a wedding ceremony. The professional officiant will prepare the ceremony and send you a copy for your approval. He or she will rehearse with you prior to the ceremony so that your wedding will appear polished. The day of the wedding, the professional officiant will coordinate events in such a way that everyone is ready on time and the ceremony comes off like a well-practiced production. Your license will be signed and copies delivered to the appropriate parties. You can trust the officiant to complete all phases of the preparation and display of the ceremony, without having to remind him or her of anything.
When you are being married by Uncle Joe, this is not going to happen. Although your friends and relatives know you, they do not know wedding protocol or what needs to be done when. They are likely to find a ceremony script on the web, and will read it for you, but the ceremony will be lacking in polish, practice, and satisfaction.
While a professional officiant costs more money, the finished product is worth the extra investment. Shopping around, you will be able to find a professional who cares about the memories that you are going to create, and will take a creative approach to providing them.
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Venues
With wedding season in full swing, most of you are now full steam ahead on your plans. You should have your vendors selected and retained, your guest list prepared, and you should know where your ceremony will be held. That may come with a challenge these days.
Something that has come to my attention recently is that public places are now actually charging large sums of money strictly to wedding parties, for the use of the area, including beaches, parks, lighthouses, and other public lands. This is the case even in places where other groups or persons are not charged at all. It’s very sad that greed is taking over.
What can be done instead? There is little that can be done to use a place that may be near your heart if you are trying to control your wedding budget, but sometimes if you schedule your ceremony for the “off” season, or during the week, you may be able to negotiate a special rate. Or perhaps the concern is more for cleanliness and if you offer to clean the area of debris, you may be allowed special consideration.
Another option is to have your ceremony in your back yard or at the home of someone who has land and space which is scenic and lovely. Friends and relatives can be helpful in many ways, but if they are willing to provide the venue, whether they have property near a beach, or on a farm or just have a very spacious garden, it can help to reduce your budget. And they might be willing to provide you with the space in lieu of a wedding gift.
The main thing is to remain open-minded as to what location you have your ceremony. You can still have a lovely wedding in the temple of the outdoors without spending a small fortune.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Writing Your Own Vows
Writing your own vows is becoming more popular these days. Some couples prefer not to, because they really don’t know what to say. But it might be easier than you may think.
Start by speaking from your heart. You are telling the most important person in your life not only how you feel about him or her, but what you want to happen in the years to come. You are making promises, expressing your hopes, your commitment, and perhaps, maybe even some fears. All of those things are okay.
The best way to do this is to be yourself. Your reason for writing your own vows was so that you don’t have to say the awkward, flowery vows that the officiant comes up with, or the old boring vows that have been said and heard since the Stone Age.
Here are some hints:
• Start by thinking about how you met, what you first noticed about your partner.
• Tell her or him what there is that excites you or brings you joy when you’re together.
• Move on to why you decided that right now is the time to commit to marriage.
• Say two or three things that you want to happen for the future in your relationship.
• Express in your own words what will show your partner that you are committed in the long term.
You can do it! Don’t let a few words get in your way.
Start by speaking from your heart. You are telling the most important person in your life not only how you feel about him or her, but what you want to happen in the years to come. You are making promises, expressing your hopes, your commitment, and perhaps, maybe even some fears. All of those things are okay.
The best way to do this is to be yourself. Your reason for writing your own vows was so that you don’t have to say the awkward, flowery vows that the officiant comes up with, or the old boring vows that have been said and heard since the Stone Age.
Here are some hints:
• Start by thinking about how you met, what you first noticed about your partner.
• Tell her or him what there is that excites you or brings you joy when you’re together.
• Move on to why you decided that right now is the time to commit to marriage.
• Say two or three things that you want to happen for the future in your relationship.
• Express in your own words what will show your partner that you are committed in the long term.
You can do it! Don’t let a few words get in your way.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Cold Feet
There are a few of my couples who have experienced cold feet. They go through all of the planning, start looking at the costs, think about how their lives will change, what they will have to do to keep a marriage on course, and they go into a panic. Rarely does this stop them from going through with the wedding, but it can create some very uncomfortable days until everything is back on target.
Planning and communication are the sure-fire ways of making these things work out. By working together, making sure all of the bases are covered for the wedding itself, talking about what has been accomplished, what has yet to be done, talking about the feelings that you have, including how the ceremony and reception will affect your finances, you come to realize what a great team you are, how you solve problems, and that together, you can overcome whatever is before you.
You may find that you have to prioritize desires for your ceremony. Some thing are very important to each of you, other things you can let go of without it negatively affecting you on an emotional level. Some things are just beyond your budget. Part of being a mature, married couple is knowing when you have to make do with what you have. If you have your heart set on something, you may have to make a trade-off. Together, you can make these choices.
The thing that you must avoid at all costs is manipulation. Don’t try to deceive one another or surprise one another with what you think your partner wants or something that you want, but you think you will be able to trick your partner into wanting in the end. This is a sign that you have some growing to do, and you need to face that.
Marriage is about making an unstoppable team. You can be a part of it, or you can break it. What choice will you make?
Warm regards,
Rev. Sandra
Planning and communication are the sure-fire ways of making these things work out. By working together, making sure all of the bases are covered for the wedding itself, talking about what has been accomplished, what has yet to be done, talking about the feelings that you have, including how the ceremony and reception will affect your finances, you come to realize what a great team you are, how you solve problems, and that together, you can overcome whatever is before you.
You may find that you have to prioritize desires for your ceremony. Some thing are very important to each of you, other things you can let go of without it negatively affecting you on an emotional level. Some things are just beyond your budget. Part of being a mature, married couple is knowing when you have to make do with what you have. If you have your heart set on something, you may have to make a trade-off. Together, you can make these choices.
The thing that you must avoid at all costs is manipulation. Don’t try to deceive one another or surprise one another with what you think your partner wants or something that you want, but you think you will be able to trick your partner into wanting in the end. This is a sign that you have some growing to do, and you need to face that.
Marriage is about making an unstoppable team. You can be a part of it, or you can break it. What choice will you make?
Warm regards,
Rev. Sandra
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Saving Time
Saving Time31213
Last time, we spoke about ways to save money on a big wedding. How let’s think about ways to save time.
You’ve been dreaming of your Big Day since you were a little girl. You know enough of the details of how you want it to look to be able to draw the ideal event. Good! This will really help you when you start to put all of the pieces together. Since you already know what you’re looking for, finding it is just a detail.
One of the reasons that you should connect with your officiant or wedding planning before you get too much into the planning phase: they’ve been doing this for years and should be able to tell you where to find all the things for your perfect day. He or she is in touch with other professionals, deejays, bands, string quartets, photographers, bakers, florists, venues, etc. They’ve been working with them for years. Use their expertise and connections to get the best of the best. This will save you time and in the long run, headaches and money.
Once you have your vendors lined up, you can get to decor. Again, your professionals can point you in the right direction. If you want something that is a little out of the ordinary, they’ve probably seen or heard of such, and can tell you where to go to get what you want. If you have a special hobby, consider where you get the properties (objects, supplies, tools) to pursue the hobby. Talk to others who share your hobby. Networking with others who like what you like will help you along your path of fulfilling your dream day much quicker.
If you have decorations to make, take advantage of family and friends. Perhaps you’re going to have a small wedding and won’t be including them in the ceremony itself. Giving them decorations to work on will help them feel the honor of participating in your lovely day.
Wishing you a Storybook Wedding!
Last time, we spoke about ways to save money on a big wedding. How let’s think about ways to save time.
You’ve been dreaming of your Big Day since you were a little girl. You know enough of the details of how you want it to look to be able to draw the ideal event. Good! This will really help you when you start to put all of the pieces together. Since you already know what you’re looking for, finding it is just a detail.
One of the reasons that you should connect with your officiant or wedding planning before you get too much into the planning phase: they’ve been doing this for years and should be able to tell you where to find all the things for your perfect day. He or she is in touch with other professionals, deejays, bands, string quartets, photographers, bakers, florists, venues, etc. They’ve been working with them for years. Use their expertise and connections to get the best of the best. This will save you time and in the long run, headaches and money.
Once you have your vendors lined up, you can get to decor. Again, your professionals can point you in the right direction. If you want something that is a little out of the ordinary, they’ve probably seen or heard of such, and can tell you where to go to get what you want. If you have a special hobby, consider where you get the properties (objects, supplies, tools) to pursue the hobby. Talk to others who share your hobby. Networking with others who like what you like will help you along your path of fulfilling your dream day much quicker.
If you have decorations to make, take advantage of family and friends. Perhaps you’re going to have a small wedding and won’t be including them in the ceremony itself. Giving them decorations to work on will help them feel the honor of participating in your lovely day.
Wishing you a Storybook Wedding!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Rituals
Rituals are those things that add a little color and flair to a ceremony. They can be as simple as signing the marriage license following vows, or as symbolic as planting a flower or tree to watch the growth of a relationship. Many people are familiar with the Unity Candle as a standby, and with the boom in outdoor weddings, the use of the Sands of Unity, which uses two or more colors of sand to symbolize the union of a couple or a family, is becoming regarded as something very special. Some couples wish to honor beloved ones who have passed over.
Handfasting is a ritual that comes to us from the Pagan culture, but it is a beautiful symbol of the joining of two people. It requires 18 feet of three colors of ribbon which can be pre-braided to make a beautiful wrap. The right hands are placed side by side, the cord is wrapped crossways around the wrists from one to the other, seven times to make a blessing. The ends of the cord are then placed in the hands, which are pulled out to form a knot, which then becomes a keepsake. If desired, a reading about the significance of all the blessings that come from the hands can be read during the wrapping, or music can be played.
Slideshows are not common at weddings, but if there is a significant amount of photo footage available, displaying the progress of the relationship, from the time a couple meets to the time of proposal is a lovely detail that everyone can enjoy. Of course, this can also be a highlight of the reception.
Ceremonies that allow the guests to participate in blessing the couple are nice and can be done before, during or after the ceremony. Stones can be given to each person before seating. During the ceremony, a blessing is placed on the stone, then they are collected and presented to the bride and groom. Some couples ask that each person pass by the rings which are displayed on a pillow and offer a blessing. Coins can be blessed, then collected and placed in a bag. Next they are thrown out onto the ground. The couple collects the coins to save as a nest egg for their new home.
Whatever you choose to do, your ceremony should reflect the feelings that you have for each other and who you are as a couple.
May you be richly blessed!
Handfasting is a ritual that comes to us from the Pagan culture, but it is a beautiful symbol of the joining of two people. It requires 18 feet of three colors of ribbon which can be pre-braided to make a beautiful wrap. The right hands are placed side by side, the cord is wrapped crossways around the wrists from one to the other, seven times to make a blessing. The ends of the cord are then placed in the hands, which are pulled out to form a knot, which then becomes a keepsake. If desired, a reading about the significance of all the blessings that come from the hands can be read during the wrapping, or music can be played.
Slideshows are not common at weddings, but if there is a significant amount of photo footage available, displaying the progress of the relationship, from the time a couple meets to the time of proposal is a lovely detail that everyone can enjoy. Of course, this can also be a highlight of the reception.
Ceremonies that allow the guests to participate in blessing the couple are nice and can be done before, during or after the ceremony. Stones can be given to each person before seating. During the ceremony, a blessing is placed on the stone, then they are collected and presented to the bride and groom. Some couples ask that each person pass by the rings which are displayed on a pillow and offer a blessing. Coins can be blessed, then collected and placed in a bag. Next they are thrown out onto the ground. The couple collects the coins to save as a nest egg for their new home.
Whatever you choose to do, your ceremony should reflect the feelings that you have for each other and who you are as a couple.
May you be richly blessed!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Honoring Loved Ones
It has become a common habit to make a memorial to loved ones who could not attend the wedding ceremony, as they have passed. Whether the passing is recent or whether it is one that took place long ago, it never goes out of style to show our love for these dear ones, to invite their blessings from above, and to receive their warmth raining down upon the ceremony. Many people will set a chair aside and grace it with the individual's favorite flower. Some will place photos on the altar to acknowledge their loved one's presence. Others will have an item that is less intrusive placed on a chair or table, perhaps something that belonged to the individual. Some will want the loved one's name and a touching verse to honor him or her. All of these things are easy and quick acknowledgements of someone who played a special part in making the bride/groom who she or he is. They are never morbid reminders of the pain felt in losing the loved one. If you wish to add a little more personal touch to your ceremony, consider honoring a loved one who has passed.
Monday, January 16, 2012
2012
Yes, Dear Ones, it is now that infamous year in which the Mayan Calendar is being blamed for bringing on the end of the world. Blame is the key point. To the most reasonable of us, it just means the creators of said calendar ran out of paper. But we do live in times when financial matters, matters of self-governance and matters of human rights are important all the way around our planet. It is a time of rejoicing, rather than a time of fear. So I say, "Let Love Ring!" and let there be marriages to celebrate that love.
I have many openings for the 2012 season and look forward to helping many of you create the most beautiful memories by including some new and unusual rituals, poetry, and creative ceremonies that your hearts long to share. These will be ceremonies that you can remember for the rest of your lives, proud at the way they spoke to your hearts and the hearts of your guests, reflecting who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. Cheers!
To find out the current rates on weddings, send me an email to revsandra1@yahoo.com with your projected wedding date in the subject line. I will respond as soon as possible. I am looking forward to a rewarding wedding season and I wish all of you the very best, whether you are in my area or across the world.
I have many openings for the 2012 season and look forward to helping many of you create the most beautiful memories by including some new and unusual rituals, poetry, and creative ceremonies that your hearts long to share. These will be ceremonies that you can remember for the rest of your lives, proud at the way they spoke to your hearts and the hearts of your guests, reflecting who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. Cheers!
To find out the current rates on weddings, send me an email to revsandra1@yahoo.com with your projected wedding date in the subject line. I will respond as soon as possible. I am looking forward to a rewarding wedding season and I wish all of you the very best, whether you are in my area or across the world.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Outdoors or Indoors
I live in Michigan. The weather here is questionable, day to day, yet there is something alluring about the backyard wedding, not only because it saves money, but because it lends a comforting touch to the nerves. So what does one do, when all the plans have been made for an outdoor wedding and the meteorologist says it's going to rain on your wedding day?
The quick answer is to rent tents or canopies to protect the lovely clothing your guests will be wearing. Or, some people like to have a rented hall where their reception is going to be, as a backup in case of inclement weather. The final option is to grin and bear it, hoping that the rain will not come down too hard.
As an officiant, I have put the ceremony script into plastic page protectors and the cover into a plastic binder so that the lovely wording is saved and the couple will have a good-as-new copy of their ceremony as a keepsake. So long as everyone is enjoying the idea of "running through the sprinkles" there is nothing wrong with moving ahead with the ceremony, in spite of the occasional shower.
I had a beach wedding recently in which this very thing happened. The sweet couple would not be deterred from their nuptials by dark clouds and sudden downpours. The wedding party and the guests proceeded to the beach in style and there was such joyful laughter as the raindrops tickled our noses that this ceremony will stay in the memory banks of everyone who attended as something very special.
And did you know it is good luck to be rained upon on your wedding day?
Warm regards,
Rev. Sandra J. Bogner-Follett
The quick answer is to rent tents or canopies to protect the lovely clothing your guests will be wearing. Or, some people like to have a rented hall where their reception is going to be, as a backup in case of inclement weather. The final option is to grin and bear it, hoping that the rain will not come down too hard.
As an officiant, I have put the ceremony script into plastic page protectors and the cover into a plastic binder so that the lovely wording is saved and the couple will have a good-as-new copy of their ceremony as a keepsake. So long as everyone is enjoying the idea of "running through the sprinkles" there is nothing wrong with moving ahead with the ceremony, in spite of the occasional shower.
I had a beach wedding recently in which this very thing happened. The sweet couple would not be deterred from their nuptials by dark clouds and sudden downpours. The wedding party and the guests proceeded to the beach in style and there was such joyful laughter as the raindrops tickled our noses that this ceremony will stay in the memory banks of everyone who attended as something very special.
And did you know it is good luck to be rained upon on your wedding day?
Warm regards,
Rev. Sandra J. Bogner-Follett
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
