Options

When you are sitting down with your professionals, the thing you most want is to have a variety of options presented to you so that you can choose what represents your interests, beliefs, and sometimes, your fantasies.  While some professionals are very open to things you may want to try, others are somewhat rigid in their thinking, when it comes to possibilities, and will try to limit your options, rather than open them up.  If they can give a reasonable explanation as to why they don’t suggest something in which you’re interested, all well and good, but if it just seems they have a limited view of things and seem to be strong-arming you to do something which would make less work for themselves, then perhaps you do not have a good fit with this professional and it is time to find someone who is more open-minded.  The last thing you want when you are planning is to have someone tell you what you want or don’t want for your ceremony or reception.  Nor do you want someone to play off your fears about Murphy’s Law, which states that if anything possibly can go wrong, it will.

The bottom line is that you want all of the options presented to you, so that you can make an informed decision which speaks to your hearts as a couple.  If you find someone filling in the blanks for you, it’s time to look elsewhere.

New Year's Weddings

Many couples enjoy getting married at a time when they are normally prepared to have a new beginning—on New Year’s day.  They like the thought of completion, and the opportunity to begin something totally new.  It is a natural and comfortable transition in their lives. 

Often, the New Year’s wedding is simple, involving only the closest of friends or family, and is performed in the family home.  Although it may seem spur of the moment, there is likely a great deal of thought went into making such a plan and moving in the direction that will bring this new union to life. 

While the ceremony itself may be humble, the meaning is important and serious to New Year’s couples.  Now is the time when the depth of their feelings can and should be sought out, when the ceremony can reflect meaning, honesty, giving and sharing.  Perhaps you will want to say a personal message for your vows, to really express how you feel blessed, what you want to contribute to this relationship.  Perhaps you will want to have a poem, either one you have written yourself, or one that speaks the love you hold in your heart.  In any case, New Year’s is an ideal time to approach new beginnings and make life changes that open the doors to your new life.

What Are You Celebrating?

When a couple comes together for the purpose of marriage, there is always the question of how big a splash to make.  Some couples prefer something quiet, private, in which they can take care of the legal necessity of joining their lives, while others want to make as big a production with a great deal of fanfare to announce to the world that they are married, something that creates a beautiful memory of a day that seems more like a fantasy that reality.

As an officiant, it is my job to help you realize either one, whatever your hearts desire.  It is my job to find the right words, set the stage and express to your guests, however many you may have, that this day is special, that the two of you are now one voice, one heart, one life. 

Because everyone is different, your job is to let your officiant know what you envision as the perfect ceremony.  What rituals do you want as part of your ceremony?  Do you want special music, poetry, a tribute to someone special, memorials to those in the family who have passed, but are watching you from above? 

There are a lot of things that you can do to create a forum to have said what you want to do and say.  This ceremony will mark a transition from one stage of life to another, even if you, as a couple, have been together for years.  A wedding speaks volumes in that it can show your guests the story of your evolution from a single, solitary person, to a supportive, loving couple.  It can say what you feel, why you feel it, and why it is important and special to you, the couple.

Therefore, dream!  Envision what your perfect day is going to be.  If you are setting free balloons, or homing pigeons, or lighting a Unity Candle—whatever reflects your personal desires or style—make it your own and say what you will to celebrate who the two of you are as a couple and light the path ahead to where you want to go.

Have a No-Waste Wedding

When you think about the costs of the decorations for your wedding and reception, the price tag can skyrocket.  But there is also a cost of waste and an environmental impact from what you choose to use as your decor.  Unless you give all of the centerpieces and displays away to your guests, or resell them on eBay, for example, chances are you are going to be throwing most of the beautiful items away.  So take the time to consider what you can do to decorate with natural things that can be recycled or serve a secondary purpose over time.

One clever thing used for an outdoor wedding was the use of wildflowers in canning jars.  The jars were suspended from shepherd’s hooks along the path of the processional.  The flowers could equally have been silk flowers or wheat stalks, and the jars could have been any that can be picked up at thrift stores or flea markets, so long as they can make a set.  The displays were stunning and simple, and left little impact on the environment.  The canning jars might be filled with tomatoes or jelly in years to come.

Lovely table decorations can be made from varied sizes of goblets with colored gravel, water and a goldfish.  The fish can then be placed into an aquarium for a living memorial of the ceremony.  The goblets, once sterilized, can be used for years to come, and once again, the memories are lasting.

Considering your hobbies in creating decorations may allow another lasting use of materials.  If you sew, you may be able to use yard goods to create interesting displays.  You can use the fabric to make interesting quilts that commemorate your wedding and become family heirlooms.

There are so many ways to use materials that will become a part of your family heritage in the years to come.  Just think outside the box and put a little more of yourself into the mix.

Theme Weddings

I wrote a little about Theme Weddings last time, describing how to design invitations with a theme, and suggested, then, to use that as the template for your decorations for the ceremony and reception.  So let’s take a little time to think about how this can all work.

Many brides like to build their décor around the colors they have chosen for their ceremony:  the dresses and tuxedos, the pew decorations or an archway if the ceremony is out of doors.  Flowers, ribbon, candelabras, netting, miniature lights, etc., can be selected for display in harmonious hues to set the stage for a lovely, romantic setting.  But more often than not, nowadays, brides and grooms are wanting to display a theme that is relevant to their lives, something that speaks to who they are as a couple, something that played a role in their coming together to be a married couple.

Think for a moment what might be something that brought you together with your betrothed.  Was it a sport?  Did a certain flower or song play a special part and give your relationship meaning?  Do you share hobbies that are important to you?  Do you enjoy the adventure of riding motorcycles?  Is there a piece of literature you shared that brought you close?  Take the time to think about the mechanics of your relationship and what you share.  If this is difficult, consider what it is about your partner that has attracted you over time.  All physical things aside, chances are there are certain activities that bonded the two of you together.

So once you have identified what your joint interests are, or the things that make the two of you a couple, write down five or six picture images that will convey what it is that is special about the two of you.  This can be simplified by cutting pictures out of magazines or using images off the internet to get your started.  If you are having a secular ceremony and the two of you are Harley-Davidson riders, things like a leather jacket, a stuffed hog, the Harley-Davidson insignia, etc., are images that you will want to include.  If you are having a religious ceremony, you may want to include images of angels, rainbows, the Bible, and particularly, passages of scripture, along with floral arrangements and streamers.  If your theme is winter, regardless of whether your ceremony is religious or secular, you will want to have snowflakes of several varieties, sleds, snowmen, and may want to include songs like Winter Wonderland in your playlist.  Of course, these are just a very few of the ideas that you might want to use.

Once you have the imagery, you can apply these to your table centerpieces, your wedding cake, wall hangings, art displays, and the backdrop for your ceremony.  You may have to shop around for the right knick knacks, but keep in mind that stores like Michael’s specialize in “just right.”  There are stores that offer party items which can supply the more general items, as well.  Don’t be afraid to let your creativity soar.  Try putting a few different tables together and see which you like best.  You may want to try more than one theme before you decide on the final one.  When you have decided, let your Officiant know also, and you will probably get a ceremony written to reflect exactly what is special about the two of you.