Avoiding Meltdowns

The day of the wedding ceremony is fraught with nerves, headaches, and confusion.  There are many things that can go wrong, but the important thing is to avoid a meltdown for the bride and groom.  With a little luck and a good officiant, the wedding can be salvaged and be remembered for years to come as a beautiful event, near and dear to the heart.

Let’s take a look at some of the things that might go wrong.  First, the Marriage License can be lost, left behind at the hotel, have coffee spilled on it, or be accidentally torn.  Plan ahead by giving the license to someone who will take responsibility for it, such as the maid of honor or best man, a parent, or a wedding planner. This person will be responsible for making sure it gets packed with items to go to the location of the ceremony, making sure it is transported to the site, and perhaps wrapping it in plastic report cover to prevent damage from spills or tears, and most importantly, delivering the license to the officiant prior to the ceremony.

Another disastrous thing that can happen is having the wedding cake ruined.  This can happen in transport.  The cake may fall, melt, be dropped, not be what was ordered, etc.  The solution to this is a little more difficult.  If possible, have the bakery deliver the cake to your location.  They have to tools to protect the cake from most of these problems.  If the cake comes in sections, they will be able to set it up to its best.  If your baker doesn’t deliver, allow extra time so that the cake doesn’t get bounced around in transport by having to hurry through traffic.  Upon arrival, use a kitchen cart to move the cake into the hall.  If there is a melting problem, smoothing the icing with a spatula should help repair the situation.

Flowers are commonly delivered by the florist, and they will often help distribute the bouquets and boutonnieres to the wedding party.  The problem here is if they droop in the heat of summer, or if the tapes holding things together slide off.  This isn’t a common problem, but it is a possibility.  If necessary, store the flowers in a refrigerator to keep them fresh.

Clothing can become a headache as well.  Perhaps someone’s tux doesn’t fit.  Or, perhaps the bridesmaids gowns are too tight.  Worst of all, the bridal gown may tear or pop a button.  The latter problem can be helped with a needle and thread, so long as this is packed into a “go bag” where all of the last minute needs are stored.  The fitting of the tuxes and bridesmaids gowns can be taken care of if everyone is fitted a week or so before the ceremony.  Then, make sure that each person does, in fact, have the clothing that is meant for them.

Now it is a matter of making sure all of the people that have been invited are on time.  Depending upon the size of the guest list, it may or may not be important that the guests, and a special guest in particular, arrive on time.  It isn’t practical to phone everyone and remind them to be on time, but if there is someone you absolutely want to be there for the ceremony, a well-timed phone call can help them remember what time they should arrive.  Ten minutes before the ceremony is a good rule of thumb.

Last, it’s raining on your well-planned ceremony.  Not to worry.  Paperwork can be slipped into plastic report covers so that the ink doesn’t run, someone can be asked to hold umbrellas over the wedding party if the rain is falling very hard, or, if the rain is a temporary thing, it’s probably okay to wait a little while.  But remember, rain on the wedding day is a good omen.

If you can avoid these pitfalls, there is no reason for a meltdown and heartfelt memories shall abound.

Sprucing Up Your Outdoor Wedding

Everyone knows that having an outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden abundant with flowers provides a rich and lovely backdrop to a special and memorable ceremony.  But let’s say that you just want to have your ceremony in a public park where there is grass and trees and that’s about it.  You can’t get permission to attach anything that will leave a mark on the natural landscape, but there are a few things that you can do to make a pretty setting more you.

Suppose you are bringing in chairs for your guests.  Anything that can be attached to the chairs, including netting, flowers, ribbon, teddy bears, or other theme-related item is a go.  You can bring in an archway that can be covered in the same kind of decor. Let your imagination go wild.  If you really like teddy bears, for example, have one attached to the end seat of each row, alternating rows, if you wish to be a little budget-conscious.  You can put some large teddy bears with their own bouquets of your choice of flowers to the sides of the archway.

In addition, you can set up a table in the front from which to perform any of the rituals that you choose, including a Unity Sand ceremony, Love Knot ceremony, Wine and Bread ceremony, Bulb Planting ceremony, and so forth.  You can decorate the table with battery-powered lighted candles, pictures of relatives you wish to honor, and, of course, more flowers. 

In essence, you can decorate the outdoors in a similar way in which you decorate the indoors, so long as you have something on which to anchor your decorations.

Theme Weddings

I wrote a little about Theme Weddings last time, describing how to design invitations with a theme, and suggested, then, to use that as the template for your decorations for the ceremony and reception.  So let’s take a little time to think about how this can all work.

Many brides like to build their décor around the colors they have chosen for their ceremony:  the dresses and tuxedos, the pew decorations or an archway if the ceremony is out of doors.  Flowers, ribbon, candelabras, netting, miniature lights, etc., can be selected for display in harmonious hues to set the stage for a lovely, romantic setting.  But more often than not, nowadays, brides and grooms are wanting to display a theme that is relevant to their lives, something that speaks to who they are as a couple, something that played a role in their coming together to be a married couple.

Think for a moment what might be something that brought you together with your betrothed.  Was it a sport?  Did a certain flower or song play a special part and give your relationship meaning?  Do you share hobbies that are important to you?  Do you enjoy the adventure of riding motorcycles?  Is there a piece of literature you shared that brought you close?  Take the time to think about the mechanics of your relationship and what you share.  If this is difficult, consider what it is about your partner that has attracted you over time.  All physical things aside, chances are there are certain activities that bonded the two of you together.

So once you have identified what your joint interests are, or the things that make the two of you a couple, write down five or six picture images that will convey what it is that is special about the two of you.  This can be simplified by cutting pictures out of magazines or using images off the internet to get your started.  If you are having a secular ceremony and the two of you are Harley-Davidson riders, things like a leather jacket, a stuffed hog, the Harley-Davidson insignia, etc., are images that you will want to include.  If you are having a religious ceremony, you may want to include images of angels, rainbows, the Bible, and particularly, passages of scripture, along with floral arrangements and streamers.  If your theme is winter, regardless of whether your ceremony is religious or secular, you will want to have snowflakes of several varieties, sleds, snowmen, and may want to include songs like Winter Wonderland in your playlist.  Of course, these are just a very few of the ideas that you might want to use.

Once you have the imagery, you can apply these to your table centerpieces, your wedding cake, wall hangings, art displays, and the backdrop for your ceremony.  You may have to shop around for the right knick knacks, but keep in mind that stores like Michael’s specialize in “just right.”  There are stores that offer party items which can supply the more general items, as well.  Don’t be afraid to let your creativity soar.  Try putting a few different tables together and see which you like best.  You may want to try more than one theme before you decide on the final one.  When you have decided, let your Officiant know also, and you will probably get a ceremony written to reflect exactly what is special about the two of you.

What to Wear

What to Wear?

As a Wedding Officiant, my choices for attire are pretty simple.  I have a white, satin robe, a black suit, or a number of dresses in various colors to blend with the colors of the wedding party.  For the bride and groom, this choice may be a little more difficult.

Let’s start with the groom, because he is less likely to concern himself with appearances.  Most modern grooms take into consideration the colors he and the bride have selected, the venue and what is special about it, and his personal comfort, as well as the comfort of the groomsmen.  While black tuxedos are standard fair at church or formal weddings, generally speaking, wearing a vest in the color of the couple’s choosing, while maintaining the formality of the black tux can add personality to the clothing choice.

For less formal events or weddings on a budget, a sport suit suffices.  It is almost always the case, however, that the groomsmen and the groom match their clothing as much as possible.  Khakis and a sport shirt are nice for outdoor, summer weddings, and at the beach, cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt add flair.  Once again, it is the preference of the couple, but this can be based on preference, personality and budget.

Theme weddings, which are gaining in popularity and expense, call for different styles of attire, many of the details of which can be purchased at stores like Great Party.  Halloween costume stores or Vintage/Antique/Thrift stores can be excellent sources for theme clothing, but you may have to do a great deal of shopping around as sizes tend to be limited.  These weddings take a little extra work, but they are charming and promote the couple’s personality in a lovely way.  Some themes that couples enjoy are Hollywood, Flower Gardening, Steam Punk, Gay 90’s, Sports, Boating, Cowboy/Western, Motorcycling, etc.  Just about anything that is a big part of your life can be transformed into a theme for a one-of-a-kind wedding.

The bride’s attire is considered the centerpiece of the wedding ceremony, and often, her dress is one of the greatest expenses as her taste, figure, and dreams find expression in this one symbol.  Choices involve white or not; pearls, lace, sequins, rhinestones, or plain; fitted, gathered, ball gown, sweetheart, princess, etc.  Needless to say, the choices are endless, and prices can go anywhere from $500 to $5000.  Certainly, budget plays a part here, but if one is looking forward to an heirloom gown, mother’s may not fit.  Once again, shopping the Vintage circuit, whether it is antique stores, thrift stores, eBay, Etsy, or other online sources, you can find a dress to make your day special. Of course, there are other options for the ladies, just as there are for the gentlemen.  Poodle skirts for a 50’s theme are cute, bathing attire for the beach, ethnic costumes, etc. 

Anything goes in today’s wedding.  It should reflect your personality, the things that are important in your life and the feelings you wish to share and convey at this special time.