Why a Professional Officiant?

While a wedding ceremony is not a theatrical performance, there are many elements that are the same.  You are spending a great deal of money for the right venue, for the gowns and tuxes, the food, decor, etc., so why not hire a professional officiant who will be able to guide you through the various aspects of the ceremony and avoid problems that may otherwise manifest.

You may have settled on a perfect venue and have hired vendors for photography, musicians or DJs, caterer, bakery, flowers and decorators.  If you wish to hire a wedding planner to take care of the details of your wedding, you may find it less challenging, but a professional officiant is capable of helping you plan the greater portion of the wedding as well. 

You can expect your officiant to go through the details of the ceremony with you, including the music, readings, vows, wedding party and special rituals, including such things as dove releases, flower exchange, Unity ceremony, handfasting, jumping the broom, and so forth.  The officiant can help you organize the entire ceremony, create a schedule of events, as well as perform the wedding.  A friend or relative, who might be honored to marry you and your spouse, does not have the training to organize all of these things.  While it may save you a small amount of money, your ceremony will not be as it might otherwise be.

A professional wedding officiant may cost a little more, but they are worth every penny.

Peripheral Tips

Once you have all of the flowers, gowns, tuxes, and are ready to rehearse your ceremony, there are a few things that need to be discussed.  For example, when the bride is presented, do you wish the congregation to stand?  Often, they will stand without prompting, but it is good to know if you wish them to do so.  Traditionally, as the bride comes into view, the congregation will stand, but there are couples who prefer not to do this.  You should let your officiant know your preferences.

Another thing that will help your ceremony go smoothly is that the maid of honor will adjust the train of the bride’s gown when the bride reaches her place. Following that, or if there is no train to smooth, the bride hands the maid of honor her flowers, so that her hands are free to hold the groom’s hands and to give and receive the rings, pour sand (if there is a sand ceremony), exchange roses (for a rose ceremony), light candles (if there is a Unity Candle) and so on.

It is frequently preferred by couples to have a ringbearer in the bridal party.  This is a charming addition.  The problem comes in when the rings are not adequately tied to the pillow he carries, or tied so well that the ties must be cut.  Perhaps I have said this before, but it helps the ceremony to run more smoothly if the ringbearer has faux rings on the pillow (it may actually have had a pair of them when purchased) and have the best man and/or maid of honor holding the rings to be presented to the officiant when asked.

These are just a few of the tips that will help your wedding day go seamlessly better.

Options

When you are sitting down with your professionals, the thing you most want is to have a variety of options presented to you so that you can choose what represents your interests, beliefs, and sometimes, your fantasies.  While some professionals are very open to things you may want to try, others are somewhat rigid in their thinking, when it comes to possibilities, and will try to limit your options, rather than open them up.  If they can give a reasonable explanation as to why they don’t suggest something in which you’re interested, all well and good, but if it just seems they have a limited view of things and seem to be strong-arming you to do something which would make less work for themselves, then perhaps you do not have a good fit with this professional and it is time to find someone who is more open-minded.  The last thing you want when you are planning is to have someone tell you what you want or don’t want for your ceremony or reception.  Nor do you want someone to play off your fears about Murphy’s Law, which states that if anything possibly can go wrong, it will.

The bottom line is that you want all of the options presented to you, so that you can make an informed decision which speaks to your hearts as a couple.  If you find someone filling in the blanks for you, it’s time to look elsewhere.

Release Rituals

One of the lovelier rituals performed at weddings are the release rituals, in which doves or balloons are released to represent the freedom of the love between a couple.  There is a new twist on these two exercises, as only the creative minds of the ingenious and culturally inspired can develop.  One ritual, borrowed from the Orient, is the release of floating lanterns, which are miniature hot air balloons with an incendiary device which lifts the lantern up into the sky.  The second is helium-filled, dove-shaped balloons which are biodegradable for the ecology-minded, yet allow for a lovely display similar to the live release of doves. 

Both of these releases create a dramatic and beautiful image that will stay with you and your guests for a long time.  The cost for either is nominal, but with the right narration, can be especially meaningful.  The lanterns are available in many different colors, including a package of several colors.  The dove-shaped balloons are white.  This link will connect you with a vendor who sells these items.

http://www.skylanterns.us

While these rituals are just beginning to become popular, they are not widely known and practiced.  Both are well-suited to outdoor weddings, and the lanterns are much more dramatic at night, when the lights shine as they rise.  If you wish to have a dramatic flair, I highly recommend these rituals.

Narrative for the release of the doves might be something as simple as, "to symbolize the freedom of the expression of Bride and Groom's love, they release these doves."  Of course, you can get as poetic as you wish, adding more to enhance the drama, but the imagery is of paramount significance.

Marriage Counseling, Part 1

I am occasionally asked if I do pre-marital counseling.  I do not require it for my couples, as most have been together for several years already by the time they come to me.  However, I do offer it to those who would like some guidelines.

The first, and in my opinion, most important, aspect of a relationship, is the ability to communicate.  Sharing not only hopes and dreams with your partner, but also your worries and doubts, draws you closer.

It is important to allow open and honest expression.  To do this, there must be a safe environment.  Communication requires listening on both parts.  It is important to cut each other off.  It is equally important not to be reactionary, so that what you hear doesn’t cause you to act out.  This is a choice.  You may feel hurt, sad or even angry, by what you hear, but good communication dictates that you put those feelings into words, rather than acting out and creating problems.  This extends trust in each other and strengthens the bond between you.

There is a ceremony that calls for the use of a rose when things are difficult and you cannot express your feelings.  One party leaves the rose at a predetermined place.  The rose symbolizes the ongoing love between you, while allowing the other partner to know that there is something wrong, though words cannot be found to express it in the moment.  It is a gentle reminder that your relationship is stronger than the challenges that you face.

If you can communicate openly and honestly, you may never need marriage counseling later in your marriage.

Sprucing Up Your Outdoor Wedding

Everyone knows that having an outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden abundant with flowers provides a rich and lovely backdrop to a special and memorable ceremony.  But let’s say that you just want to have your ceremony in a public park where there is grass and trees and that’s about it.  You can’t get permission to attach anything that will leave a mark on the natural landscape, but there are a few things that you can do to make a pretty setting more you.

Suppose you are bringing in chairs for your guests.  Anything that can be attached to the chairs, including netting, flowers, ribbon, teddy bears, or other theme-related item is a go.  You can bring in an archway that can be covered in the same kind of decor. Let your imagination go wild.  If you really like teddy bears, for example, have one attached to the end seat of each row, alternating rows, if you wish to be a little budget-conscious.  You can put some large teddy bears with their own bouquets of your choice of flowers to the sides of the archway.

In addition, you can set up a table in the front from which to perform any of the rituals that you choose, including a Unity Sand ceremony, Love Knot ceremony, Wine and Bread ceremony, Bulb Planting ceremony, and so forth.  You can decorate the table with battery-powered lighted candles, pictures of relatives you wish to honor, and, of course, more flowers. 

In essence, you can decorate the outdoors in a similar way in which you decorate the indoors, so long as you have something on which to anchor your decorations.