Options

When you are sitting down with your professionals, the thing you most want is to have a variety of options presented to you so that you can choose what represents your interests, beliefs, and sometimes, your fantasies.  While some professionals are very open to things you may want to try, others are somewhat rigid in their thinking, when it comes to possibilities, and will try to limit your options, rather than open them up.  If they can give a reasonable explanation as to why they don’t suggest something in which you’re interested, all well and good, but if it just seems they have a limited view of things and seem to be strong-arming you to do something which would make less work for themselves, then perhaps you do not have a good fit with this professional and it is time to find someone who is more open-minded.  The last thing you want when you are planning is to have someone tell you what you want or don’t want for your ceremony or reception.  Nor do you want someone to play off your fears about Murphy’s Law, which states that if anything possibly can go wrong, it will.

The bottom line is that you want all of the options presented to you, so that you can make an informed decision which speaks to your hearts as a couple.  If you find someone filling in the blanks for you, it’s time to look elsewhere.

Dream Wedding?

What does it mean to have a dream wedding?  Some children grow up with an image in their minds that is highly detailed and specific as far as what they believe their wedding should look like, how it will be performed, what is said, and perhaps most important, where it will be.  Do they always get what they want?  Hopefully they will, but there is always that smidgen of doubt that says that there are going to be barriers which keep them from having the perfect wedding.

Let’s think about this for a minute.  When you were a child, did you get everything that you ever wanted?  Probably not.  If you did, it will be a lot harder for you to accept that you won’t have everything your way as an adult.  But logically, it stands to reason that the world is not going to give you things exactly the way you saw them when you were little.  No diamond tiara, no tropical island paradise.

I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, but things just don’t look the same as we expected they would when we were young.  So there will have to be changes in the way you see your wedding.  You can still have special words spoken, you can still have lavish decorations, but if you wish to see through the eyes of a child, you are going to be a couple that is disgruntled and sad at the end of the day.  No one needs that kind of stress.

So look at things with your adult eyes and realize that you have a budget, large or small, but you can still have some amazing things.  Will it be a David Tutera production?  Probably not, but you can have silk flowers, crystals, the gown and tuxes, a special cake to top it all off and great music with which to dance the night away.

Time: The Big Spoilsport

We’ve talked about many ways your vendors want to help you create a beautiful memory on your wedding day, but there is a little thing that can make the entire thing fall apart:  a late start.  You all know how important it is for your vendors to arrive and perform on time for you, but if the ceremony begins late, it can cause an avalanche of disasters.
 Suffice it to say that vendors operate like taxi drivers.  They always have another place to be and they allot a certain amount of time to any given affair, charging X-number of dollars for a specified amount of time.
 While it’s great that you would like all of your friends and relatives to witness your ceremony, it may not be practical to hold up the wedding if some happen to be late.  Your officiant may be flexible in waiting up to fifteen minutes for out-of-town loved ones to arrive if he or she doesn’t have another obligation following yours, but courtesy dictates that you ask, should the situation arise.
 You may have a little more leeway when it comes to your reception, as the caterer is less likely to be scheduled for another event, however, the servers are probably paid by the hour, so the boss will be watching the clock.
 Your entertainers are also likely booked only for your event, but they, too, will want to start and finish on time.  If your reception immediately follows your ceremony, a late start to the wedding can cause some discomfort for musicians, d.j.’s, even photographers.
 The second most likely cause of delay is the hairdresser.  Be sure that you add an extra hour or even two, in case some problem arises at the salon. 
 A case of nerves can also be cause for delay, but making sure all of the arrangements are confirmed may help alleviate worries.  A good officiant can help coordinate lining up and time management, as well as your master or mistress of ceremonies and your wedding planner.  Sometimes it just takes knowing that all of your vendors have arrived to reduce stress levels.
 In any case, starting your wedding on time keeps everyone happy and helps you avoid unexpected fees and hurt feelings.

The Off Season

We are coming to the time of year when things begin to slow down with regard to our social lives and the busy season for venues is less hectic.  For the savvy shopper bride who is planning a wedding during this time of year, the likelihood is that venues and vendors are less heavily scheduled, but are also likely to charge a lower rate as they wish to fill in their calendars for the rest of the year.  Shopping around for the best deals is a wise choice if you are looking to save money.

Perhaps you have had a special place in mind for your wedding for a long time.  There is no reason you shouldn’t have it, so long as you are flexible with your date selection, and the autumn season is likely to be your best option.  Not only are you likely to get your location, but the venue may be able to allow you a little more freedom with decorations, rehearsals, and other things you may want.  The main thing is, if you want something, don’t be afraid to ask for it.  You are sure not to get what you want if you don’t ask, but if you do, venues and vendors are more likely to give it to you during their off season.

The only thing that you are less likely to get a break on during this time of year is your flowers, and that, of course, is because of the growing season, but this can offset by using silk flowers.  You can make the most beautiful arrangements yourself, often using flowers that you pick up at a dollar store.

You don’t have to be poor to make your dollars count.  Beauty doesn’t have to carry a large price tag.  You just have to have a vivid imagination and know what you want.  Wedding planners and some officiants can help you with these plans or tell you where you can get help.  Just ask.

Venues

With wedding season in full swing, most of you are now full steam ahead on your plans.  You should have your vendors selected and retained, your guest list prepared, and you should know where your ceremony will be held.  That may come with a challenge these days.

Something that has come to my attention recently is that public places are now actually charging large sums of money strictly to wedding parties, for the use of the area, including beaches, parks, lighthouses, and other public lands.  This is the case even in places where other groups or persons are not charged at all.  It’s very sad that greed is taking over.

What can be done instead?  There is little that can be done to use a place that may be near your heart if you are trying to control your wedding budget, but sometimes if you schedule your ceremony for the “off” season, or during the week, you may be able to negotiate a special rate. Or perhaps the concern is more for cleanliness and if you offer to clean the area of debris, you may be allowed special consideration. 

Another option is to have your ceremony in your back yard or at the home of someone who has land and space which is scenic and lovely.  Friends and relatives can be helpful in many ways, but if they are willing to provide the venue, whether they have property near a beach, or on a farm or just have a very spacious garden, it can help to reduce your budget.  And they might be willing to provide you with the space in lieu of a wedding gift.

The main thing is to remain open-minded as to what location you have your ceremony.  You can still have a lovely wedding in the temple of the outdoors without spending a small fortune.