Why a Professional Officiant?

While a wedding ceremony is not a theatrical performance, there are many elements that are the same.  You are spending a great deal of money for the right venue, for the gowns and tuxes, the food, decor, etc., so why not hire a professional officiant who will be able to guide you through the various aspects of the ceremony and avoid problems that may otherwise manifest.

You may have settled on a perfect venue and have hired vendors for photography, musicians or DJs, caterer, bakery, flowers and decorators.  If you wish to hire a wedding planner to take care of the details of your wedding, you may find it less challenging, but a professional officiant is capable of helping you plan the greater portion of the wedding as well. 

You can expect your officiant to go through the details of the ceremony with you, including the music, readings, vows, wedding party and special rituals, including such things as dove releases, flower exchange, Unity ceremony, handfasting, jumping the broom, and so forth.  The officiant can help you organize the entire ceremony, create a schedule of events, as well as perform the wedding.  A friend or relative, who might be honored to marry you and your spouse, does not have the training to organize all of these things.  While it may save you a small amount of money, your ceremony will not be as it might otherwise be.

A professional wedding officiant may cost a little more, but they are worth every penny.

Avoiding Meltdowns

The day of the wedding ceremony is fraught with nerves, headaches, and confusion.  There are many things that can go wrong, but the important thing is to avoid a meltdown for the bride and groom.  With a little luck and a good officiant, the wedding can be salvaged and be remembered for years to come as a beautiful event, near and dear to the heart.

Let’s take a look at some of the things that might go wrong.  First, the Marriage License can be lost, left behind at the hotel, have coffee spilled on it, or be accidentally torn.  Plan ahead by giving the license to someone who will take responsibility for it, such as the maid of honor or best man, a parent, or a wedding planner. This person will be responsible for making sure it gets packed with items to go to the location of the ceremony, making sure it is transported to the site, and perhaps wrapping it in plastic report cover to prevent damage from spills or tears, and most importantly, delivering the license to the officiant prior to the ceremony.

Another disastrous thing that can happen is having the wedding cake ruined.  This can happen in transport.  The cake may fall, melt, be dropped, not be what was ordered, etc.  The solution to this is a little more difficult.  If possible, have the bakery deliver the cake to your location.  They have to tools to protect the cake from most of these problems.  If the cake comes in sections, they will be able to set it up to its best.  If your baker doesn’t deliver, allow extra time so that the cake doesn’t get bounced around in transport by having to hurry through traffic.  Upon arrival, use a kitchen cart to move the cake into the hall.  If there is a melting problem, smoothing the icing with a spatula should help repair the situation.

Flowers are commonly delivered by the florist, and they will often help distribute the bouquets and boutonnieres to the wedding party.  The problem here is if they droop in the heat of summer, or if the tapes holding things together slide off.  This isn’t a common problem, but it is a possibility.  If necessary, store the flowers in a refrigerator to keep them fresh.

Clothing can become a headache as well.  Perhaps someone’s tux doesn’t fit.  Or, perhaps the bridesmaids gowns are too tight.  Worst of all, the bridal gown may tear or pop a button.  The latter problem can be helped with a needle and thread, so long as this is packed into a “go bag” where all of the last minute needs are stored.  The fitting of the tuxes and bridesmaids gowns can be taken care of if everyone is fitted a week or so before the ceremony.  Then, make sure that each person does, in fact, have the clothing that is meant for them.

Now it is a matter of making sure all of the people that have been invited are on time.  Depending upon the size of the guest list, it may or may not be important that the guests, and a special guest in particular, arrive on time.  It isn’t practical to phone everyone and remind them to be on time, but if there is someone you absolutely want to be there for the ceremony, a well-timed phone call can help them remember what time they should arrive.  Ten minutes before the ceremony is a good rule of thumb.

Last, it’s raining on your well-planned ceremony.  Not to worry.  Paperwork can be slipped into plastic report covers so that the ink doesn’t run, someone can be asked to hold umbrellas over the wedding party if the rain is falling very hard, or, if the rain is a temporary thing, it’s probably okay to wait a little while.  But remember, rain on the wedding day is a good omen.

If you can avoid these pitfalls, there is no reason for a meltdown and heartfelt memories shall abound.

Peripheral Tips

Once you have all of the flowers, gowns, tuxes, and are ready to rehearse your ceremony, there are a few things that need to be discussed.  For example, when the bride is presented, do you wish the congregation to stand?  Often, they will stand without prompting, but it is good to know if you wish them to do so.  Traditionally, as the bride comes into view, the congregation will stand, but there are couples who prefer not to do this.  You should let your officiant know your preferences.

Another thing that will help your ceremony go smoothly is that the maid of honor will adjust the train of the bride’s gown when the bride reaches her place. Following that, or if there is no train to smooth, the bride hands the maid of honor her flowers, so that her hands are free to hold the groom’s hands and to give and receive the rings, pour sand (if there is a sand ceremony), exchange roses (for a rose ceremony), light candles (if there is a Unity Candle) and so on.

It is frequently preferred by couples to have a ringbearer in the bridal party.  This is a charming addition.  The problem comes in when the rings are not adequately tied to the pillow he carries, or tied so well that the ties must be cut.  Perhaps I have said this before, but it helps the ceremony to run more smoothly if the ringbearer has faux rings on the pillow (it may actually have had a pair of them when purchased) and have the best man and/or maid of honor holding the rings to be presented to the officiant when asked.

These are just a few of the tips that will help your wedding day go seamlessly better.

New Year's Weddings

Many couples enjoy getting married at a time when they are normally prepared to have a new beginning—on New Year’s day.  They like the thought of completion, and the opportunity to begin something totally new.  It is a natural and comfortable transition in their lives. 

Often, the New Year’s wedding is simple, involving only the closest of friends or family, and is performed in the family home.  Although it may seem spur of the moment, there is likely a great deal of thought went into making such a plan and moving in the direction that will bring this new union to life. 

While the ceremony itself may be humble, the meaning is important and serious to New Year’s couples.  Now is the time when the depth of their feelings can and should be sought out, when the ceremony can reflect meaning, honesty, giving and sharing.  Perhaps you will want to say a personal message for your vows, to really express how you feel blessed, what you want to contribute to this relationship.  Perhaps you will want to have a poem, either one you have written yourself, or one that speaks the love you hold in your heart.  In any case, New Year’s is an ideal time to approach new beginnings and make life changes that open the doors to your new life.

What Are You Celebrating?

When a couple comes together for the purpose of marriage, there is always the question of how big a splash to make.  Some couples prefer something quiet, private, in which they can take care of the legal necessity of joining their lives, while others want to make as big a production with a great deal of fanfare to announce to the world that they are married, something that creates a beautiful memory of a day that seems more like a fantasy that reality.

As an officiant, it is my job to help you realize either one, whatever your hearts desire.  It is my job to find the right words, set the stage and express to your guests, however many you may have, that this day is special, that the two of you are now one voice, one heart, one life. 

Because everyone is different, your job is to let your officiant know what you envision as the perfect ceremony.  What rituals do you want as part of your ceremony?  Do you want special music, poetry, a tribute to someone special, memorials to those in the family who have passed, but are watching you from above? 

There are a lot of things that you can do to create a forum to have said what you want to do and say.  This ceremony will mark a transition from one stage of life to another, even if you, as a couple, have been together for years.  A wedding speaks volumes in that it can show your guests the story of your evolution from a single, solitary person, to a supportive, loving couple.  It can say what you feel, why you feel it, and why it is important and special to you, the couple.

Therefore, dream!  Envision what your perfect day is going to be.  If you are setting free balloons, or homing pigeons, or lighting a Unity Candle—whatever reflects your personal desires or style—make it your own and say what you will to celebrate who the two of you are as a couple and light the path ahead to where you want to go.

Release Rituals

One of the lovelier rituals performed at weddings are the release rituals, in which doves or balloons are released to represent the freedom of the love between a couple.  There is a new twist on these two exercises, as only the creative minds of the ingenious and culturally inspired can develop.  One ritual, borrowed from the Orient, is the release of floating lanterns, which are miniature hot air balloons with an incendiary device which lifts the lantern up into the sky.  The second is helium-filled, dove-shaped balloons which are biodegradable for the ecology-minded, yet allow for a lovely display similar to the live release of doves. 

Both of these releases create a dramatic and beautiful image that will stay with you and your guests for a long time.  The cost for either is nominal, but with the right narration, can be especially meaningful.  The lanterns are available in many different colors, including a package of several colors.  The dove-shaped balloons are white.  This link will connect you with a vendor who sells these items.

http://www.skylanterns.us

While these rituals are just beginning to become popular, they are not widely known and practiced.  Both are well-suited to outdoor weddings, and the lanterns are much more dramatic at night, when the lights shine as they rise.  If you wish to have a dramatic flair, I highly recommend these rituals.

Narrative for the release of the doves might be something as simple as, "to symbolize the freedom of the expression of Bride and Groom's love, they release these doves."  Of course, you can get as poetic as you wish, adding more to enhance the drama, but the imagery is of paramount significance.

Have a No-Waste Wedding

When you think about the costs of the decorations for your wedding and reception, the price tag can skyrocket.  But there is also a cost of waste and an environmental impact from what you choose to use as your decor.  Unless you give all of the centerpieces and displays away to your guests, or resell them on eBay, for example, chances are you are going to be throwing most of the beautiful items away.  So take the time to consider what you can do to decorate with natural things that can be recycled or serve a secondary purpose over time.

One clever thing used for an outdoor wedding was the use of wildflowers in canning jars.  The jars were suspended from shepherd’s hooks along the path of the processional.  The flowers could equally have been silk flowers or wheat stalks, and the jars could have been any that can be picked up at thrift stores or flea markets, so long as they can make a set.  The displays were stunning and simple, and left little impact on the environment.  The canning jars might be filled with tomatoes or jelly in years to come.

Lovely table decorations can be made from varied sizes of goblets with colored gravel, water and a goldfish.  The fish can then be placed into an aquarium for a living memorial of the ceremony.  The goblets, once sterilized, can be used for years to come, and once again, the memories are lasting.

Considering your hobbies in creating decorations may allow another lasting use of materials.  If you sew, you may be able to use yard goods to create interesting displays.  You can use the fabric to make interesting quilts that commemorate your wedding and become family heirlooms.

There are so many ways to use materials that will become a part of your family heritage in the years to come.  Just think outside the box and put a little more of yourself into the mix.

Words, Words, Words

Many couples find that the wedding ceremony itself presents a problem.  They have a lot of emotions that they want to express, to make the day very special and meaningful, yet the words do not come to them.  They rely on the officiant to come up with just the right words to share how they feel about each other.  This is perfectly all right.

Some officiants will have a questionnaire to help determine what your thoughts and feelings about each other are.  They may ask, “What does love mean to you?”  or “What words describe how you feel about your partner?”  There are many questions that will help you to think about what you want said the day of your wedding.  Thinking about these things when the pressure is off allows your officiant get to know who the two of you are as a couple and what is important in your lives.  They may ask about your hobbies, what “family” means to you.  How much time do you think is important to spend with your partner, and when you are together, what makes that time special?

Having some time to think about these things allows you to have a ceremony that will bring back memories of fondness for the rest of your lives. 

Selecting Rings

One of the biggest expenses for a wedding are the rings which will symbolize your commitment to one another for the rest of your lives.  Most people opt for the most beautiful rings they can comfortably afford.  However, some people are opting for new twists in this regard.  There are several ways of showing commitment creatively without such great expense and, some people feel, are more meaningful than expensive jewelry.

One variation is getting tattoos on the ring fingers.  These, of course, are permanent.  The tattoos are meant to show the depth and permanence of the intention to commit for life.  They can be as ornate and beautiful as the creativity of the couple and artist can achieve.  The problem with this is that not even couples whose intention becomes a part of their physical bodies can assure that their marriage does, in fact, last a lifetime.  As with all tattoos, should the marriage end, it may become rather awkward.

Another variation I have seen is the use of rubber O-rings, which are worn on the understanding that while marriage may not be perfect, the rules thereof can be stretched and twisted, like the O-ring, but the marriage will not break.  This is charming and a very symbolic sentiment, though the rings may not be suitable for wearing with all clothing choices.

I have also seen couples who have woven, knitted or crocheted rings.  These can be varied in color to match clothing choices, and still use the concept of stretching a point as the O-rings above, but may be more fashionable.

Whatever you choose for your rings, they are, indeed, a symbol of the depth and strength of your commitment to love one another for the rest of your lives.

Venues

With wedding season in full swing, most of you are now full steam ahead on your plans.  You should have your vendors selected and retained, your guest list prepared, and you should know where your ceremony will be held.  That may come with a challenge these days.

Something that has come to my attention recently is that public places are now actually charging large sums of money strictly to wedding parties, for the use of the area, including beaches, parks, lighthouses, and other public lands.  This is the case even in places where other groups or persons are not charged at all.  It’s very sad that greed is taking over.

What can be done instead?  There is little that can be done to use a place that may be near your heart if you are trying to control your wedding budget, but sometimes if you schedule your ceremony for the “off” season, or during the week, you may be able to negotiate a special rate. Or perhaps the concern is more for cleanliness and if you offer to clean the area of debris, you may be allowed special consideration. 

Another option is to have your ceremony in your back yard or at the home of someone who has land and space which is scenic and lovely.  Friends and relatives can be helpful in many ways, but if they are willing to provide the venue, whether they have property near a beach, or on a farm or just have a very spacious garden, it can help to reduce your budget.  And they might be willing to provide you with the space in lieu of a wedding gift.

The main thing is to remain open-minded as to what location you have your ceremony.  You can still have a lovely wedding in the temple of the outdoors without spending a small fortune.

Saving Time

Saving Time31213
Last time, we spoke about ways to save money on a big wedding. How let’s think about ways to save time.

You’ve been dreaming of your Big Day since you were a little girl. You know enough of the details of how you want it to look to be able to draw the ideal event. Good! This will really help you when you start to put all of the pieces together. Since you already know what you’re looking for, finding it is just a detail.
One of the reasons that you should connect with your officiant or wedding planning before you get too much into the planning phase: they’ve been doing this for years and should be able to tell you where to find all the things for your perfect day. He or she is in touch with other professionals, deejays, bands, string quartets, photographers, bakers, florists, venues, etc. They’ve been working with them for years. Use their expertise and connections to get the best of the best. This will save you time and in the long run, headaches and money.
Once you have your vendors lined up, you can get to decor. Again, your professionals can point you in the right direction. If you want something that is a little out of the ordinary, they’ve probably seen or heard of such, and can tell you where to go to get what you want. If you have a special hobby, consider where you get the properties (objects, supplies, tools) to pursue the hobby. Talk to others who share your hobby. Networking with others who like what you like will help you along your path of fulfilling your dream day much quicker.
If you have decorations to make, take advantage of family and friends. Perhaps you’re going to have a small wedding and won’t be including them in the ceremony itself. Giving them decorations to work on will help them feel the honor of participating in your lovely day.
Wishing you a Storybook Wedding!

Who Decides?

As a young couple, preparing something as grand as a wedding may take the wind out of your sails. There are so many things to consider, so many businesses to deal with, and a lot of things to keep track of. Perhaps you would like to have the help of someone more experienced in bringing all of these things together. Your officiant can help with these things, but when it comes to making the decisions as to what you want, keep in mind that you are in charge. It's your day! Mom and Dad, the Officiant, the DJ, the Florist, the Boutique Consultant, the Caterer, the Venue Consultant and the rest of the entourage will all have their opinions and can certainly offer the assistance of their expertise in their chosen field, but when it comes to making your day special and memorable for you, you get to make all the decisions. If someone tells you that you have to do it his or her way, it may be time to look for someone else to fill that role. When you choose what you want in your wedding and how things are to be done, the rest of the troops can fall in line and support your image of the perfect wedding.

Year's End Weddings

While it may be just the heat of the moment that sparks that desire to marry at the end of the year, there are also practical reasons, such as getting a nice bonus on your tax return. At any rate, finding the perfect words to bless your union is the job of the Wedding Officiant. He or she, in spite of the last minute notice, is capable to finding just the right message that will make this wedding memorable. Just because you are looking for someone to witness your vows at the end of the year, you do not have to settle for second rate. Quite often, officiants aren't as busy, so finding one who is willing to work around the holidays is easy enough, given a day or two.
The thing you will want to think about is what is important to the two of you. What are your interests, your hobbies, your hopes for the future? If you can convey these to your officiant, even with short notice, he or she should be able to create a charming, memorable, and inspirational ceremony that will keep you smiling for years to come.

Winter Weddings

Winter weddings take a little more planning than those carefree, rain-free summer days, but they offer a chance to really let your creativity shine. As most winter weddings are, as a necessity here in the North, indoors, the decor becomes part of the memory and effect that you wish to create. Consider going to the dollar stores where you can find silk flowers, ribbon, crepe paper, etc. to make decorations that will be stunning to your guests and easy on your pocketbook. Afraid they will look cheap, just because they are? Once put together they will dazzle your guests just as much as high-priced decorations. Just employ your imagination and let yourself enjoy the savings.

The Off Season

This is considered the "off season" when it comes to weddings, and as an officiant, the "extra" time is useful for studying trends in wedding preferences, writing new vows and ceremonies, coming up with new and varied rituals with special, heartfelt meanings, and touching in with couples who really want to get a jump on their planning for next season. The pace is a little slower, yet, for those of us who are always looking into the future for what will be new and exciting, it is time to get out of the box and seriously think of something different.
Yes, it may be a means of putting us ahead of the next guy, to grab a greater portion of market share, but really, to me it means giving better service, being more efficient, offering more touching options and being able to provide nothing less than the best for my couples. It means making sure that my equipment is in top condition, including my car, so that I can be where I need to be when I need to be there. It means getting the PA to work without crackling. It means checking the wardrobe so that robes, suits and dresses are all dry-cleaned and repaired and the shoes shined. It means thinking ahead so that every contingency has been covered so the day of each wedding in the upcoming season, I am prepared, and prepared not only for what I have to do, but also prepared in case some other party to the wedding happens to drop the ball. So I restock my "gig back" with tissues, deodorant, bobby pins, hairspray, pins, needle and thread, lint roller, .....on it goes, because I'm not just there to do my part, I'm there to make sure that my couples have the most beautiful and perfect memory that is possible.

About Rev. Sandra

I have been ordained as a non-denominational minister in the State of Michigan for 11 years and have been performing wedding ceremonies/commitments for 9 years now. I have performed over 300 unique and beautiful ceremonies.

Why do I do this? Because I love being around happy couples on a day that means so much to them, and I derive great joy in helping them create a beautiful memory that will be with them for the rest of their lives.

I believe that the most important thing on Wedding Day is that the two of you have a ceremony that you can look back on with fondness because it speaks to who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other.

I use the symbolism that is meaningful for you, that tells your guests where you are going in your lives, help you select rituals that symbolize your unity and love, and touch your guests hearts.

I believe it is not necessary to have a ceremony that lasts hours to bring out the true story of your lives, past, present and future. The beauty that reveals the two of you takes little time and is even more memorable because of it.

I am located in Muskegon, Michigan, however, I would be happy to refer you to someone in your area who holds similar philosophies regarding weddings, via the American Association of Wedding Officiants.

Storybook Weddings

Storybook Weddings is more than an idea. It is a philosophy that you, as a couple, should be able to choose the exact kind of ceremony that will be a treasure all of your lives. You should truly love every part of your ceremony, which is more than the dress, the shoes, the tuxes, the flowers...it is the thoughts and feelings that you hold inside of you on this very special day in which you are letting go of that part of you that is solitary in order to join with another, your beloved, yet still retaining your own identity. It is about presenting who you are and who you, as a couple, will be, now that you have become two and yet, one again.

Storybook Weddings will help you plan your ceremony. The elements you want will be included, those you don't want will be edited out. Your satisfaction is my command. I will help you find what you're looking for, regardless of what that may be. I will provide poetry, or not; Biblical passages, or not; rituals, or not; a brief message, or not. You are in complete control of what is to be said, how it will be said, and when. I am there to guide you and help you find your perfect ceremony.