You’ve got all your ducks in a row. The vendors are confirmed for your date, their bills are paid and your instructions to them are clear. The venue has been decorated, the tuxes rented, gowns are pressed and every last detail has been arranged. Still, there are some eventualities for which you cannot be prepared. Last minute surprises can make or break the best-planned wedding.
How do you prepare for something you can’t predict? What kind of indicators can give you a head’s up?
Consider Murphy’s Law, which states that if anything can possibly go wrong, it will. What kinds of things can go wrong? The flower girl steps on the train of the bridal gown and tears the dress. Your maid of honor is a basket of nerves and gets so sick she can’t come. The groomsmen are so hung-over from the bachelor party, they show up an hour late. The florist delivers your order to the wrong venue. The wedding cake slides off the cart en route and a new one has to be made. The minister is tied up by a fender bender. All of these are possibilities.
The best way to deal with any of these little crises is to roll with the punches. Being delayed is the worst case scenario as the result of any of these situations. While some fees may be tacked on to cover the late start, the ceremony can still go on. And often, if the delay is beyond your control, late fees may be waived.
A torn dress can be tacked together with needle and thread. Most venues have the changing room stocked with such supplies. Sick maid of honor? Chamomile or peppermint tea works wonders. Hung-over groomsmen? There is not much to be done after the fact, but a firm warning that such behaviour will result in the appearance of a bridezilla may be a sufficient deterrent. Double-checking all deliveries so you confirm the address will hold faux pas on delivery at bay. Last, accidents do happen, even to wedding officiants, but allowing plenty of travel time should avert distractions leading to a fender bender.
All in all, delays are uncomfortable, may be costly, and should be avoided whenever possible. But they aren’t the end of the world, and the presentation of your ceremony can proceed in all its splendor in the long run.
Showing posts with label celebrant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrant. Show all posts
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Time: The Big Spoilsport
We’ve talked about many ways your vendors want to help you create a beautiful memory on your wedding day, but there is a little thing that can make the entire thing fall apart: a late start. You all know how important it is for your vendors to arrive and perform on time for you, but if the ceremony begins late, it can cause an avalanche of disasters.
Suffice it to say that vendors operate like taxi drivers. They always have another place to be and they allot a certain amount of time to any given affair, charging X-number of dollars for a specified amount of time.
While it’s great that you would like all of your friends and relatives to witness your ceremony, it may not be practical to hold up the wedding if some happen to be late. Your officiant may be flexible in waiting up to fifteen minutes for out-of-town loved ones to arrive if he or she doesn’t have another obligation following yours, but courtesy dictates that you ask, should the situation arise.
You may have a little more leeway when it comes to your reception, as the caterer is less likely to be scheduled for another event, however, the servers are probably paid by the hour, so the boss will be watching the clock.
Your entertainers are also likely booked only for your event, but they, too, will want to start and finish on time. If your reception immediately follows your ceremony, a late start to the wedding can cause some discomfort for musicians, d.j.’s, even photographers.
The second most likely cause of delay is the hairdresser. Be sure that you add an extra hour or even two, in case some problem arises at the salon.
A case of nerves can also be cause for delay, but making sure all of the arrangements are confirmed may help alleviate worries. A good officiant can help coordinate lining up and time management, as well as your master or mistress of ceremonies and your wedding planner. Sometimes it just takes knowing that all of your vendors have arrived to reduce stress levels.
In any case, starting your wedding on time keeps everyone happy and helps you avoid unexpected fees and hurt feelings.
Suffice it to say that vendors operate like taxi drivers. They always have another place to be and they allot a certain amount of time to any given affair, charging X-number of dollars for a specified amount of time.
While it’s great that you would like all of your friends and relatives to witness your ceremony, it may not be practical to hold up the wedding if some happen to be late. Your officiant may be flexible in waiting up to fifteen minutes for out-of-town loved ones to arrive if he or she doesn’t have another obligation following yours, but courtesy dictates that you ask, should the situation arise.
You may have a little more leeway when it comes to your reception, as the caterer is less likely to be scheduled for another event, however, the servers are probably paid by the hour, so the boss will be watching the clock.
Your entertainers are also likely booked only for your event, but they, too, will want to start and finish on time. If your reception immediately follows your ceremony, a late start to the wedding can cause some discomfort for musicians, d.j.’s, even photographers.
The second most likely cause of delay is the hairdresser. Be sure that you add an extra hour or even two, in case some problem arises at the salon.
A case of nerves can also be cause for delay, but making sure all of the arrangements are confirmed may help alleviate worries. A good officiant can help coordinate lining up and time management, as well as your master or mistress of ceremonies and your wedding planner. Sometimes it just takes knowing that all of your vendors have arrived to reduce stress levels.
In any case, starting your wedding on time keeps everyone happy and helps you avoid unexpected fees and hurt feelings.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Why The Professional Officiant?
A lot of the scuttle-butt on the Professional circuit these days is about officiants who do not perform their work on a professional basis. This includes friends and relatives of the bride or groom who apply for an ordination simply for the purpose of performing this specific wedding, often as a measure for saving money, but occasionally for the purpose of being the individual who blesses the marriage. While either is acceptable in the eyes of the law, and reasonable for the couple, the finished product can sometimes be a disaster, leaving the bride and groom with memories that are below their expectations when it comes to how they see their wedding.
To see what you might be missing by having Uncle Joe perform your ceremony, consider what services you get with a professional officiant. First, the officiant meets with you, taking the time to get to know you. He or she might have a questionnaire for you to fill out, describing not only your preferences, but a little bit of the history of your relationship, so that your ceremony can be personalized to the two of you. He or she might interview you, to really get acquainted with you both. Then, if there are several basic ceremonies that the officiant uses, you can select a ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. In my estimation, this is one of the most important things in the preparation of a wedding ceremony. The professional officiant will prepare the ceremony and send you a copy for your approval. He or she will rehearse with you prior to the ceremony so that your wedding will appear polished. The day of the wedding, the professional officiant will coordinate events in such a way that everyone is ready on time and the ceremony comes off like a well-practiced production. Your license will be signed and copies delivered to the appropriate parties. You can trust the officiant to complete all phases of the preparation and display of the ceremony, without having to remind him or her of anything.
When you are being married by Uncle Joe, this is not going to happen. Although your friends and relatives know you, they do not know wedding protocol or what needs to be done when. They are likely to find a ceremony script on the web, and will read it for you, but the ceremony will be lacking in polish, practice, and satisfaction.
While a professional officiant costs more money, the finished product is worth the extra investment. Shopping around, you will be able to find a professional who cares about the memories that you are going to create, and will take a creative approach to providing them.
To see what you might be missing by having Uncle Joe perform your ceremony, consider what services you get with a professional officiant. First, the officiant meets with you, taking the time to get to know you. He or she might have a questionnaire for you to fill out, describing not only your preferences, but a little bit of the history of your relationship, so that your ceremony can be personalized to the two of you. He or she might interview you, to really get acquainted with you both. Then, if there are several basic ceremonies that the officiant uses, you can select a ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. In my estimation, this is one of the most important things in the preparation of a wedding ceremony. The professional officiant will prepare the ceremony and send you a copy for your approval. He or she will rehearse with you prior to the ceremony so that your wedding will appear polished. The day of the wedding, the professional officiant will coordinate events in such a way that everyone is ready on time and the ceremony comes off like a well-practiced production. Your license will be signed and copies delivered to the appropriate parties. You can trust the officiant to complete all phases of the preparation and display of the ceremony, without having to remind him or her of anything.
When you are being married by Uncle Joe, this is not going to happen. Although your friends and relatives know you, they do not know wedding protocol or what needs to be done when. They are likely to find a ceremony script on the web, and will read it for you, but the ceremony will be lacking in polish, practice, and satisfaction.
While a professional officiant costs more money, the finished product is worth the extra investment. Shopping around, you will be able to find a professional who cares about the memories that you are going to create, and will take a creative approach to providing them.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Selecting Rings
One of the biggest expenses for a wedding are the rings which will symbolize your commitment to one another for the rest of your lives. Most people opt for the most beautiful rings they can comfortably afford. However, some people are opting for new twists in this regard. There are several ways of showing commitment creatively without such great expense and, some people feel, are more meaningful than expensive jewelry.
One variation is getting tattoos on the ring fingers. These, of course, are permanent. The tattoos are meant to show the depth and permanence of the intention to commit for life. They can be as ornate and beautiful as the creativity of the couple and artist can achieve. The problem with this is that not even couples whose intention becomes a part of their physical bodies can assure that their marriage does, in fact, last a lifetime. As with all tattoos, should the marriage end, it may become rather awkward.
Another variation I have seen is the use of rubber O-rings, which are worn on the understanding that while marriage may not be perfect, the rules thereof can be stretched and twisted, like the O-ring, but the marriage will not break. This is charming and a very symbolic sentiment, though the rings may not be suitable for wearing with all clothing choices.
I have also seen couples who have woven, knitted or crocheted rings. These can be varied in color to match clothing choices, and still use the concept of stretching a point as the O-rings above, but may be more fashionable.
Whatever you choose for your rings, they are, indeed, a symbol of the depth and strength of your commitment to love one another for the rest of your lives.
One variation is getting tattoos on the ring fingers. These, of course, are permanent. The tattoos are meant to show the depth and permanence of the intention to commit for life. They can be as ornate and beautiful as the creativity of the couple and artist can achieve. The problem with this is that not even couples whose intention becomes a part of their physical bodies can assure that their marriage does, in fact, last a lifetime. As with all tattoos, should the marriage end, it may become rather awkward.
Another variation I have seen is the use of rubber O-rings, which are worn on the understanding that while marriage may not be perfect, the rules thereof can be stretched and twisted, like the O-ring, but the marriage will not break. This is charming and a very symbolic sentiment, though the rings may not be suitable for wearing with all clothing choices.
I have also seen couples who have woven, knitted or crocheted rings. These can be varied in color to match clothing choices, and still use the concept of stretching a point as the O-rings above, but may be more fashionable.
Whatever you choose for your rings, they are, indeed, a symbol of the depth and strength of your commitment to love one another for the rest of your lives.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Cold Feet
There are a few of my couples who have experienced cold feet. They go through all of the planning, start looking at the costs, think about how their lives will change, what they will have to do to keep a marriage on course, and they go into a panic. Rarely does this stop them from going through with the wedding, but it can create some very uncomfortable days until everything is back on target.
Planning and communication are the sure-fire ways of making these things work out. By working together, making sure all of the bases are covered for the wedding itself, talking about what has been accomplished, what has yet to be done, talking about the feelings that you have, including how the ceremony and reception will affect your finances, you come to realize what a great team you are, how you solve problems, and that together, you can overcome whatever is before you.
You may find that you have to prioritize desires for your ceremony. Some thing are very important to each of you, other things you can let go of without it negatively affecting you on an emotional level. Some things are just beyond your budget. Part of being a mature, married couple is knowing when you have to make do with what you have. If you have your heart set on something, you may have to make a trade-off. Together, you can make these choices.
The thing that you must avoid at all costs is manipulation. Don’t try to deceive one another or surprise one another with what you think your partner wants or something that you want, but you think you will be able to trick your partner into wanting in the end. This is a sign that you have some growing to do, and you need to face that.
Marriage is about making an unstoppable team. You can be a part of it, or you can break it. What choice will you make?
Warm regards,
Rev. Sandra
Planning and communication are the sure-fire ways of making these things work out. By working together, making sure all of the bases are covered for the wedding itself, talking about what has been accomplished, what has yet to be done, talking about the feelings that you have, including how the ceremony and reception will affect your finances, you come to realize what a great team you are, how you solve problems, and that together, you can overcome whatever is before you.
You may find that you have to prioritize desires for your ceremony. Some thing are very important to each of you, other things you can let go of without it negatively affecting you on an emotional level. Some things are just beyond your budget. Part of being a mature, married couple is knowing when you have to make do with what you have. If you have your heart set on something, you may have to make a trade-off. Together, you can make these choices.
The thing that you must avoid at all costs is manipulation. Don’t try to deceive one another or surprise one another with what you think your partner wants or something that you want, but you think you will be able to trick your partner into wanting in the end. This is a sign that you have some growing to do, and you need to face that.
Marriage is about making an unstoppable team. You can be a part of it, or you can break it. What choice will you make?
Warm regards,
Rev. Sandra
Friday, February 24, 2012
Rituals
Rituals are those things that add a little color and flair to a ceremony. They can be as simple as signing the marriage license following vows, or as symbolic as planting a flower or tree to watch the growth of a relationship. Many people are familiar with the Unity Candle as a standby, and with the boom in outdoor weddings, the use of the Sands of Unity, which uses two or more colors of sand to symbolize the union of a couple or a family, is becoming regarded as something very special. Some couples wish to honor beloved ones who have passed over.
Handfasting is a ritual that comes to us from the Pagan culture, but it is a beautiful symbol of the joining of two people. It requires 18 feet of three colors of ribbon which can be pre-braided to make a beautiful wrap. The right hands are placed side by side, the cord is wrapped crossways around the wrists from one to the other, seven times to make a blessing. The ends of the cord are then placed in the hands, which are pulled out to form a knot, which then becomes a keepsake. If desired, a reading about the significance of all the blessings that come from the hands can be read during the wrapping, or music can be played.
Slideshows are not common at weddings, but if there is a significant amount of photo footage available, displaying the progress of the relationship, from the time a couple meets to the time of proposal is a lovely detail that everyone can enjoy. Of course, this can also be a highlight of the reception.
Ceremonies that allow the guests to participate in blessing the couple are nice and can be done before, during or after the ceremony. Stones can be given to each person before seating. During the ceremony, a blessing is placed on the stone, then they are collected and presented to the bride and groom. Some couples ask that each person pass by the rings which are displayed on a pillow and offer a blessing. Coins can be blessed, then collected and placed in a bag. Next they are thrown out onto the ground. The couple collects the coins to save as a nest egg for their new home.
Whatever you choose to do, your ceremony should reflect the feelings that you have for each other and who you are as a couple.
May you be richly blessed!
Handfasting is a ritual that comes to us from the Pagan culture, but it is a beautiful symbol of the joining of two people. It requires 18 feet of three colors of ribbon which can be pre-braided to make a beautiful wrap. The right hands are placed side by side, the cord is wrapped crossways around the wrists from one to the other, seven times to make a blessing. The ends of the cord are then placed in the hands, which are pulled out to form a knot, which then becomes a keepsake. If desired, a reading about the significance of all the blessings that come from the hands can be read during the wrapping, or music can be played.
Slideshows are not common at weddings, but if there is a significant amount of photo footage available, displaying the progress of the relationship, from the time a couple meets to the time of proposal is a lovely detail that everyone can enjoy. Of course, this can also be a highlight of the reception.
Ceremonies that allow the guests to participate in blessing the couple are nice and can be done before, during or after the ceremony. Stones can be given to each person before seating. During the ceremony, a blessing is placed on the stone, then they are collected and presented to the bride and groom. Some couples ask that each person pass by the rings which are displayed on a pillow and offer a blessing. Coins can be blessed, then collected and placed in a bag. Next they are thrown out onto the ground. The couple collects the coins to save as a nest egg for their new home.
Whatever you choose to do, your ceremony should reflect the feelings that you have for each other and who you are as a couple.
May you be richly blessed!
Monday, January 16, 2012
2012
Yes, Dear Ones, it is now that infamous year in which the Mayan Calendar is being blamed for bringing on the end of the world. Blame is the key point. To the most reasonable of us, it just means the creators of said calendar ran out of paper. But we do live in times when financial matters, matters of self-governance and matters of human rights are important all the way around our planet. It is a time of rejoicing, rather than a time of fear. So I say, "Let Love Ring!" and let there be marriages to celebrate that love.
I have many openings for the 2012 season and look forward to helping many of you create the most beautiful memories by including some new and unusual rituals, poetry, and creative ceremonies that your hearts long to share. These will be ceremonies that you can remember for the rest of your lives, proud at the way they spoke to your hearts and the hearts of your guests, reflecting who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. Cheers!
To find out the current rates on weddings, send me an email to revsandra1@yahoo.com with your projected wedding date in the subject line. I will respond as soon as possible. I am looking forward to a rewarding wedding season and I wish all of you the very best, whether you are in my area or across the world.
I have many openings for the 2012 season and look forward to helping many of you create the most beautiful memories by including some new and unusual rituals, poetry, and creative ceremonies that your hearts long to share. These will be ceremonies that you can remember for the rest of your lives, proud at the way they spoke to your hearts and the hearts of your guests, reflecting who you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. Cheers!
To find out the current rates on weddings, send me an email to revsandra1@yahoo.com with your projected wedding date in the subject line. I will respond as soon as possible. I am looking forward to a rewarding wedding season and I wish all of you the very best, whether you are in my area or across the world.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Who Decides?
As a young couple, preparing something as grand as a wedding may take the wind out of your sails. There are so many things to consider, so many businesses to deal with, and a lot of things to keep track of. Perhaps you would like to have the help of someone more experienced in bringing all of these things together. Your officiant can help with these things, but when it comes to making the decisions as to what you want, keep in mind that you are in charge. It's your day! Mom and Dad, the Officiant, the DJ, the Florist, the Boutique Consultant, the Caterer, the Venue Consultant and the rest of the entourage will all have their opinions and can certainly offer the assistance of their expertise in their chosen field, but when it comes to making your day special and memorable for you, you get to make all the decisions. If someone tells you that you have to do it his or her way, it may be time to look for someone else to fill that role. When you choose what you want in your wedding and how things are to be done, the rest of the troops can fall in line and support your image of the perfect wedding.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Year's End Weddings
While it may be just the heat of the moment that sparks that desire to marry at the end of the year, there are also practical reasons, such as getting a nice bonus on your tax return. At any rate, finding the perfect words to bless your union is the job of the Wedding Officiant. He or she, in spite of the last minute notice, is capable to finding just the right message that will make this wedding memorable. Just because you are looking for someone to witness your vows at the end of the year, you do not have to settle for second rate. Quite often, officiants aren't as busy, so finding one who is willing to work around the holidays is easy enough, given a day or two.
The thing you will want to think about is what is important to the two of you. What are your interests, your hobbies, your hopes for the future? If you can convey these to your officiant, even with short notice, he or she should be able to create a charming, memorable, and inspirational ceremony that will keep you smiling for years to come.
The thing you will want to think about is what is important to the two of you. What are your interests, your hobbies, your hopes for the future? If you can convey these to your officiant, even with short notice, he or she should be able to create a charming, memorable, and inspirational ceremony that will keep you smiling for years to come.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Ready, Set, Go!
Perhaps winter is not the time that is optimal for having a wedding, but it is the right time to start planning for a springtime wedding or even your summer wedding. Now is the time to get your vendors lined up, and soon! Their calendars will start to fill in very quickly now.
Your officiant is perhaps the first person you wish to contact. Not only does she have a great deal of work to do to prepare your ceremony, (especially if she is writing a fresh ceremony, as opposed to using the ol' standby from the Book of Common Prayer) but she will be able to help you plan your wedding. She can answer questions you may have, act as a springboard for ideas, and share her experience. She has a unique vantage point from which to observe the goings on at weddings, including fashion trends and cutting edge ceremonies. Since she performs about 50 weddings a season, that's a well of information that you want to tap.
Of course, there are a lot of things that you will need to plan beyond the ceremony itself, and these are best handled with the caterer, the decorator, the musicians, the baker, and so forth. But for now, you can get started with the most experienced advisor you can have--your officiant.
Your officiant is perhaps the first person you wish to contact. Not only does she have a great deal of work to do to prepare your ceremony, (especially if she is writing a fresh ceremony, as opposed to using the ol' standby from the Book of Common Prayer) but she will be able to help you plan your wedding. She can answer questions you may have, act as a springboard for ideas, and share her experience. She has a unique vantage point from which to observe the goings on at weddings, including fashion trends and cutting edge ceremonies. Since she performs about 50 weddings a season, that's a well of information that you want to tap.
Of course, there are a lot of things that you will need to plan beyond the ceremony itself, and these are best handled with the caterer, the decorator, the musicians, the baker, and so forth. But for now, you can get started with the most experienced advisor you can have--your officiant.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
How to Choose a Wedding Officiant
You're getting married. Congratulations! This is a big step forward in your life and you want your day to reflect who the two of you are as a couple and the feelings that you have for each other. Right? You don't want your officiant/minister/celebrant/preacher telling you what "should" be said. This is about the two of you--what you want and feel.
So number one on your list of questions to ask an officiant, is, "Do we get to choose what will be said, how long the ceremony is, what rituatls will be included, etc?" If your officiant is worth her salt (or his) the answer will be ABSOLUTELY! He or she should be flexible when it comes to what you want in your ceremony, how long it should be, what is included--which should be what you want and nothing you don't want. By all means, listen to the suggestions that he or she makes, but the final decision is yours.
So number one on your list of questions to ask an officiant, is, "Do we get to choose what will be said, how long the ceremony is, what rituatls will be included, etc?" If your officiant is worth her salt (or his) the answer will be ABSOLUTELY! He or she should be flexible when it comes to what you want in your ceremony, how long it should be, what is included--which should be what you want and nothing you don't want. By all means, listen to the suggestions that he or she makes, but the final decision is yours.
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